Naree' Renelle's Soul Palace

We Will Be....

2012-01-17T12:14:00.000-08:00

On a day like today, I feel a litlle lost, but the little one found me (smile)
Growing inside is a gift from the Heavens, and He shall be blessed
If I was to eat all of the lies they fed, I would starve, I kid you not
But I end this post on a positive note.

Because me, my baby and my other baby will be fine. We will be...and that's just that....

Naree' Renelle

An Excerpt from my Novel; "One Night Stand!" ENJOY!! :)

2012-01-12T05:44:00.000-08:00

I walked to my car, started it and drove off towards Route 50 toward Annapolis. It wouldn’t take me long to get to the designated meeting spot.

But had I not whipped back around to Marcelle’s house get my phone charger, I may have been a second too late, or early. The Universe had a funny way of operating sometimes. But in crucial instances, I believe your spiritual guardians strategically place you exactly where you need to be.

The Buffalo Wild Wings parking lot was packed. I pulled up driving the Explorer that evening; a blessing in disguise. It had very dark tints and I was unidentifiable. The Solara would have announced my presence…..early. All of my friends knew me by the infamous silver Solara.

“What the fuck is she doing here though?" I thought.

I saw Alexis Monroe was coming out of the Buffalo Wild Wings, laughing, with a small entourage behind her. I did a double take, although I was sure she hadn’t noticed me.

“How conveniently janky.”

I parked the truck in an inconspicuous spot, way in the back of the parking lot. I watched Alexis and her three friends continue to laugh while approaching a black Maxima. One of the girls was dark skinned, with the same height, weight and loc length as Alexis. The other was this girl I recognized from Tetwork. I made sure I kept my eyes on Alexis though; I noticed she was walking at a slower pace. I imagined it was because of the miscarriage incident. I wondered if she came to the restaurant looking for me.

“Alexis already knows what the fuck is up man! Fuck she even doing out on the town after she was just complaining about miscarrying a child and all that?”

My stomach was on fire, with rage and passion.
Angel was calling me. Where the fuck had she been this whole time.

“Mmm hmm, I wonder if she was inside parlaying with Alexis and the rest of those snake bitches…” I hoped not. Angel was supposed to be my genuine friend.

And then I looked over and saw Pierre’s black Expedition pull up, very close to the Maxima. I could hear Gucci Mane’s “Kush is my Cologne” bumping from his speakers.

“Damn, how fucking crazy is this shit here?” I thought. “I pulled up right on time!"

I knew why Alexis' face looked the way it did; Pierre's presence did the same to her as it did to me. Her entourage got in the Maxima but she stood outside, waiting for Pierre to approach her.

“Damn.” I felt myself melt at that moment.

He stepped out of his truck, with a cloud of smoke behind him, and she smiled and swung her locs back a little, feeling herself. He was feeling himself too, he walked up to her with his lips balled, like always.

I saw them embrace and looked on, shaking my head. I couldn’t believe that I just conveniently drove into that shit. It was just supposed to be a humble trip to the Buffalo Wild Wings.

“Damn….Damn……Damn!”

Pierre leaned his lanky body up against the Maxima and she began talking. She was very expressive, using her hands and such. He tilted his head to the side and looked at her with a face of concern.

Angel called my phone again. I pressed ignore and kept my attention focused on Pierre and Alexis.

I read his lips. “Damn, true,” he said and looked away from her.

She wasn’t facing me, so I couldn’t see what she was saying. I just saw her looking up at him, continuing to move her lips at a rapid pace.

I closed my eyes. I had to calm myself before I stepped out of the truck, being a fool for Love. Was I out of my fucking mind?

I wanted to jump out and spazz on both of them. “What the fuck you doing out here talking to this bitch Pierre?”

I looked down, Robin was calling my phone now. How did she always know exactly when to call me?

“Fuck,” I thought, getting frustrated. Too much was going on at that moment.

I looked back up, and turned my music down like someone could hear it.

“Check this damn girl out.”

Alexis had her hands on Pierre’s midsection, caressing him. Pierre let out a laugh but buried his head in his hands.

“Nah, don’t hide your face nigga….that’s your damn problem. Always hiding and shit!” I said to Pierre in my head.

Then I saw Alexis look down to her stomach, and my stomach reminded me of the foul shit I was in.

Pierre put his hands were Alexis' were, on her stomach, and began rubbing it a little.

“Oh no…”

I saw her turn her face to the side with fresh tears in her eyes. My eyes and mouth grew wider.

“Ooooh shit, was that his baby? No Pierre! You fucking dumbass!” I thought.

I almost moved the truck’s shift gear, flashed the lights, honked the horn….anything to release what I was feeling at the moment. I had to still be dreaming, not witnessing the reality in that parking lot.

But when I regained logic, I felt like a real investigative journalist out there. I was in the cut, watching the whole ordeal go down, and nobody knew I was there to see it. Nobody but me.

My face was tight as I sat in my reclined seat. I took a look at my three missed calls again and then Pierre glanced down at his phone too.

After their embrace, Alexis stepped into the front seat of the Maxima. It sped right off and Pierre walked towards the entrance of the restaurant. Pierre looked around like he sensed someone watching him. I had to think fast, I didn’t know what to do right then.

My wired mind doesn’t recollect, but something made me jump silently from the truck, lock the doors and catch up to Pierre’s slow pace. I resisted the urge to privately confront him, so I walked in the restaurant’s door slowly behind him. He still didn’t even notice.

“Black Maaan,” I said out of nowhere, in a sultry tone.

He turned with his eyes wide, and the look on his face was fucking priceless.

“Aww shit…” was all he said. But then he tried to clean it up, “Aww shit, wassup shawty."He reached for a hug but I declined.

I knew and he knew. “Yeah, you fucked up.”

Promo Video for my Upcoming Novel! Go Get That!!

2012-01-12T05:33:00.001-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGwz-0j0j4I&context=C33e89bdADOEgsToPDskJbl6-lLE9pKcxj2Z68B5C9

Clovers of Ecstasy

2011-08-17T09:47:00.000-07:00

But you should love me, because we both live on this street

A two way pasture of concrete, with flowing heart beats on each end

A lovers’ canvas, covered with the natural flow of our aura

Green lily pastures, honeysuckle flowers and black roses

Paradise.

Where I reside. Would you like to come along on my ride?

Water bluer than the sky, sand crystals that get you high

Sunrises and sunsets with my moans amongst the ambience

Egyptian oils that make my skin glisten…as my hips speak to you, listen

Don’t ask permission

Just start with sweet kisses, cinnamon caresses, brown sugar tongue rolls

Never end, send tingles from my spine to my toes

Is this why you should love me?

No, not the only reason,

because love is forever evolving like four seasons

Is it because of the way I stare at you under the moonlight?

Your eyes dancing as you watch what you like

Whenever you’re inside me, gotta give my bottom lip a bite

Because baby it’s yours, won’t put up a fight tonight

The way I feel you grow against my walls,

Afterwards she’s still thumping, giving your manhood a call

On and on and on, without one pause

Wake up from my dreams and we can start it all

Over………

My bed-leaf clover

Mind Elevation...

2011-06-28T23:08:00.000-07:00

Thru my Creation, is mind elevation

A long walk through the...Black Nation

Why I talk Black? Why is that all I see?
Because that is the ONLY....I am the ONLY

Tomorrow is never here, and now is the time I am standing in....therefore it does not exist

If I can stay away from the worry that a earthly mind brings...I can perhaps.....Elevate.

Why I'm Sexy....Why I'm Free

2011-05-20T11:13:00.000-07:00

It all started with a conversation about the Yoni- the Hindu term for female genitalia. As I ascend into higher levels of consciousness, the sacred act of sex (more specifically, tantric sex) comes up. Over and over again actually.

As a result, I have drawn some of my own conclusions and coined the concept or idea "Yoni Power." This can be described as my idea of the respect and honor that the feminine sacred place should always receive on a Universal level. It is between a woman's thighs that Paradise on Earth is reached. And from there, the amount of pleasure received can feel galactical. It is through this vessel (the Yoni) that all Life moves. The Yoni is a beautiful and Powerful thing!

As a Black Queen Goddess, I acknowledge and surrender to my sexuality. Like a black kitten that has grown into a full and lively Black Panther...here I am. Sexy, and Free.

Never confuse promiscuity with the sexual energy that Divine beings naturally possess. As a sexual being, sex is a very natural and perfect occurence- it feels good and I believe we should indulge. However, like most things, there are boundaries to be respected. But that there is for another post.

My Kings and Queens of the Jungle, we stand here as the protoype for the Earth's core and I feel so enlightened to share with you the energy I receive from the "Black Man high." He, in exchange, gets high from my essence and nothing is more God-like. I open myself to all of my audience to know that these types of exchanges have been rampant for the last few months of my Life. It's like a phase I am going through as I continue to grasp onto my "Yoni Power." I am sure the Kings I have spent time with are very grateful for this Moon phase of mine (smile).

But anyway, my point is to bring together the fact that sex is not a taboo subject; instead it is Knowledge of Life itself. Nothing on earth is more potent than the elements that can come together when man and woman are engaging in sexual intercourse. Nothing gives me more freedom...and nothing makes me feel more free than taking my Yoni Power back and embracing my very potent sexuality. I am here for a reason, and it is to share this Sex Knowledge of the Most High with you. Let your mind and my body be the vessel that washes you to the shore of Paradise.

So let us not fret about the past or society's views of sexuality...let us create our own! No longer will we look to the mass media to decide who or what is acceptable for the pleasure we recieve in the privacy of our own bedrooms. The day when the women of the world understand, value and appreciate their precious Yonis, is the same day that men will bow at our feet to kiss them- respecting us for the Queens that we are.

Much Love and Peace to the Feminine Guiding Principle that surrounds us all, and her male counterpart that creates balance. Be sexy, Be free...Be bold and unleash your Inner Goddess. This isn't just a post for Women because men too share this feminine principle in their energies. And the man who understands and fully embraces the graces of the woman's anatomy will always be rewarded by the heavens tenfold.

I am Afiyana. And with the Yoni, I have the Power. The Power to spread this Love and Knowledge to you. Peace.

Raspy voice to match my Sashay

2011-02-07T21:26:00.000-08:00

This Book...

(my first novel)

Is my Life right now
Part-time

Because I once made Love to her always, with no breaks in between
But other parts of Life took over

Here He comes...(smile), and even some she's. Goddesses that you insist on denying.

Anyway, I am grateful for the opportunity to present my heart to you...that's what keeps me motivated and stabilized. It's a roller coaster ride to watch it come together, but it's all worth it. It's a process that is making me stronger.

It's alot more than I thought it would be. It takes alot more of myself than I ever intended...but it's a great and wonderful feeling. A certain high I have that lets me know that I am doing what my heart desires.

When you beat to the rhythm of your own drum...Life aligns beautifully.

I am Naree' Renelle...Afiyana...Black Hennessy...BlackSoulRose...E&J....Woman of many names. I have many talents...and seducing you (with or without language) is one of them. You should know this, and believe.

But here I am style-freeing again...I am

I just feel like my Life is like poetry in motion...forgive me if I believe in devotion

Deep blue oceans, marinades made of seashells and lover's sweat....can you hear me?

I hear moans and beautiful kisses at sunrise, at sunset. Especially when it's wet...outside. (Laugh)
When the Earth is damp with her own juices flowing from the skies that she makes Love to, our bodies too should be in motion of a Loved one. In the Spiritual, Physical, Mental, Habitual or...all of the above type of ways.

Raspy voice to match my sashay...
Here I am writing my heart out for this...I deserve it

You deserve to hear my story...I was born for this. I promise you. It's something I feel in my bones...it's something I won't and can't and don't want to get over because it is me...all a part of me.

When I really think about how this book came together...how my Destiny saw it and imagined it and grew with it in real Life right before my eyes...I knew it was something special.

If this post doesn't reach one person...(it probably won't...most people think I am soooo spaced out there LOL) or if it only reaches you...know that this is my hard work. I can't throw it away on anything. And anything that is mine is worth fighting for.

I fight for my Freedom...for my country...for my Family most importantly...and for my independence everyday. This is who I am. I just believe in...everything that believes in me too. Complex woman I know...but to know me, is to Love me. I Love me.

I Am...

Woman of many names...damp with the Earth's rain...Paradise. The waters of my spine are quenched when you come around...is it not Love...or a figment of my mind. Are you here with me?

Hmph!

Yes...this and so much more can be answered in this book. Be not afraid of metaphysics, it's who we are...naturally. I love you.

Tomorrow is not promised but let's promise that we will look forward to it. With Love in our hearts and sweetness in our sashays...Women can heal the world. We can start by healing our male counterparts.

(Black Man, know I always and forever eternally Love you Baby! *3 winks* Oooow!)

Save Black Love...it is...everything that IS.

Am I too BLACK for You??

2011-01-30T23:10:00.000-08:00

Am I too BLACK for You??

No really...

Butternut Toffee, Sweet Mahogany Coffee....I Am
Yet you tell me my taste is tart?

Am I...too Ancient in my ways?? Too star-like when I gaze??
Treasures that you can't appraise

BLACK MAN!!

Am I...too melanin-inspired,
Cinnamon-flavored torch to to your Fire
Everything you desire??
One hit of me will take you higher

I walk with the Sun, dance with the Moon
Wash away the world's ills--Afrakan monsoon
Yes, Revolution is coming soon
Hair standing high on top of my head, every eye on me in the room

Citrus honey kisses, golden hips mistress
A taste way past delicious....
Passion-Fruit

Or strange fruit that hangs from trees
Flowers in her hair, Billie Holideez

The Renaissance of Harlem, death comes in threes
Black Leaders, Brown people, the Marcus Garveys

Am I bitter from the stench of Afrakan captives?
Inner-city ghettoes, street-sweeps, pissy mattresses
Blasphemous! Telling me my God isn't Black!
Look at my skin, how perfect is that?

How should I react...to the trafficking of crack?
We lost something down the road, now I'm fighting to get it back...

From your reality, eye am mentally detached
I call it my Freedom...you call it being too BLACK!

Am I too Black? No really...
Born in Afraka....Roots in Philly
Rude gal tank you, sometimes eye be silly...

But still, I have to ask again...really?

I'm just trying to do me brother,
trying to be FREE brother,
show you I'm still your Mother,
Love for you OVER and UNDER cover,
probably will never be another

Soulstress from Down Under
My Voice vibration is like the roll of thunder...

Am I too Black? No really..
Look at me, my eyes...Black Royalty
Look into my heart, so much stone you see

Being Black is just my...actuality.

Black Woman. (An Afiyana Post.)

Goddesses....

2011-01-30T22:58:00.000-08:00

Black Goddess, dark in the night
Giving angels their wings for flight
Spinning around coconut and orange groves in Islands and Florida
Stopping in Georgia to smell a peach,
Hillside mountains like Minnesota
Her curves, well within your reach
If your hands were to create the perfect silhouette
Her body would be only mutely modeled
Your hands wander and you squrim,
you ain't get there yet
Her eyes mesmerizing you like a young toddle
And a sweet scent of Connamon she left on the Holy Land
Her honey brwon fingertips touching the Soul of Man
Adding more color to the night
Giving angels their wings for flight
Arousing many, yet taking no man as a prisoner
To her love and seductress glow though, they would all surrender

Blindly hunted by the meeks of men,
The sun glowing from her face
Her arrogance is well-respected, well-deserved even

Look at her sashay
Natura moevements of heartbeats, eye blinks, baby steps
Like the man whose grazed hands frame her silhouette
As Naturel as crysatl blue water found on Caribbean seas
Her cinnamon-scented kisses leave behind the sand of the world's beaches

Her breath breathes wind at the coolest of times

Her smile as wide as the sky, bright as the month of July

Her skin, still Dark as the darkest of nights
Giving angels their wings for flight

Naree' Renelle Post.

One Night Stand: My Life's Movie (A Novel by Naree' Renelle)

2011-01-23T12:54:00.000-08:00

This here is the OFFICIAL Promo video for my first novel "One Night Stand: My Life's Movie"!!!
Summer 2011 is the goal, with your support, prayers and my vision, we can bring this to Life. Enjoy! Naree' Renelle (Love.)

**PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS!! YOU FEEDBACK AND OPINIONS ARE WELCOME!**

Temptress Tiptoe: An Ode to Black Beauties

2011-01-08T16:59:00.000-08:00

"The Art of Integirty, the definition of HERstory, all stories. The make-up of the Universe, our Universe. She is the complexity of all experiences; both joyful and painful. The Earth, Mother Earth, golden-bronzed. Black Woman (Wombman). Love, Wisdom, Divinity." -Naree Renelle'

"She sits upon her regal throne, surrounded by dynasties of old, Pyraminds are her rings, the STARS, her eyes, And when she speaks, her voice rolls, like THUNDER in the Sky." -Vernon J. Davis Jr.

The Black Woman's image is everywhere, if you really think about it. Though she may come disguised in many forms (i.e. Caucasian women with thick hair and tans), her image is still the roots for Eternal Beauty. The entire world marvels at her sun-kissed eyes; that ignite a passion in men it takes eons to cool. Her sultry stance, her glowing skin, her untamed natural beauty. Be not deceived, nature comes in all colors and with much variety. But the ripe fruit of Afrika called the Black Woman is the Alpha and Omega of Beauty. Ebony Brown Nubian Bliss Black Roses from the Heavens, She is.

How could you ever question the Creator's Divine Glory when you see the perfection of Creation itself everyday in: the Black Woman.

Oh yeah, we come in ALL types of different colors too. You must embrace every mahogany undertone and vanilla hint. The smoothness of our skin is always as sweet as dark chocolate.

Butter pecan, caramel, honey or cinnamon. Any flavor you savor can be found in the Black Woman. Both literally and figuratively speaking. *wink*

This beauty is Ancient, not to be confused with the superficial societal view. This beauty is Sacred. As Black Women, Sacred Beauty is one of our powers. Along with Sacred words, Sacred healing, Sacred cooking and Sacred gracefulness. A picture is worth way more words. You can have a look for yourself:

There are so many things Black Woman represent. Through thte times, through the ages. Our Love, Wisdom and Dedication to Society as a whole is timeless. Everything falls under the tree of the seeds of Life.

STRENGTH.....ELEGANCE......GRACE.

STYLE.....FLAIR....BOLDNESS!!

A WILL TO FIGHT FOR FREEDOM.

"Only the Strong go crazy, the weak just go along." -Assata Shakur (pictured above)

The instant AFROdisiac. This creature is everything that is. Everything that you see is blessed by the Black Woman. Why do you think you find her so irresistible?

Much Love to those that inspire us to Live our Life like it's GOLDEN!!!!!!!!!!!

And on top of EVERYTHING else, our First Lady is a Black Woman. Now how Real is that??

(All Black Everything....Michelle Obama!!)

So Love yourselves Black Women, know that we are the living example of God's shining Glory. And Love us too Black Men, because it is our nature to Love you. When the Black Man understands the Sacred association with the Black Wombman, and the Black Woman learns to yield her power only for the greater good, we will then we re-ignite the flame of Black Love.

ATTENTION: Fellas....and females. Pictured above is neither a "Bitch" nor a "Hoe." Please stop using these names to describe us. And ladies, we must stop responding to these titles and using them amongst ourselves. Rise Up!

Finding the God-blessed feminine energy essence within myself is the driving factor behind such a post. I hope you enjoyed and hope you will be back. The only place we have to go is up...toward the Sky Mother. Love always, Naree' Renelle

A Soul Child....Gone WILD! (Dedicated to those that STAND out!)

2010-12-29T14:04:00.000-08:00

(Photo by afrikess)

My looks are to be deceived. Who Am I?

When flowers spring up, I feel emotions rise, tempers flaring....but who am I?

There she goes, they say...Speaking her Revolutionary bullshyt...I got 'em all scared.
They want to unfollow me, but they have to acknowledge me. The TRUTH in my stance, that stands there. The glow in my eyes and my glare.

Rebellious hair, with a mean switch to match. Sorry if I come around alot and not get attached. Perfection is the only match...for the mentally detached.

I remember when I began this post. Here I am, finishing a draft from a few months back. I already spoke about "Sassy Happiness" about two posts down (make sure to check it out!!), and that sums up all I was feeling here.

See because, what do people expect from the "Conscious/ Conscience" crowd or the Spiritually righteous?

I've tried not to infuse my thoughts with those of everyday "people"...but sometimes it is inevitable.

So anyway, they criticized Huey Newton for smoking cigarettes, Bob Marley for smoking ganja and Jay-Z for drinking Ace of Spades.

Oh, and if you're not a traditional Christian, then they don't have any words for you..."lost soul". Acting in favor of your Ancestors is what most would label as "animalistic and barbaric" ideals concerning the worship of a God-head. Fear is ignorance. Ignorance is misunderstood.

Call me Ms. Understood.

BUT however, and anyway, for all of these reasons, and countless others, I am a...Soul Child Gone WILD!

(Photo courtesy of essence.com)

So I say to those that stand out, either by their hair, attitude, stance, style or ideas, DO IT and LOVE IT! For I Love you for being Bold, for feeling something different from most others in your core...what connects us cannot be expressed into words...Soul to Soul...

So Stand...and know that you are not alone. I also have a video I will be uploading to YouTube about this very matter. Standing spiritually strong...understanding that is okay to question authority or ideas/ philosophies that contradict the ACTUAL way of Life.

Nature is perfect. The Creator makes no mistakes.

You are exactly where you need to be at this moment, and you are reading this because the Divine Order brought you here. Embrace the energy, embrace the Knowledge, embrace your individual DNA as it embraces you.

As always, Love and Light. Peace be with the World. Naree' Renelle.

Mmm Hmmmm *Erykah Badu Voice*

"One Night Stand" (A Novel) by: Naree' Renelle

2010-12-29T09:52:00.000-08:00

This here is my novel; a work in progress/ process. I envision it being published by the Spring of 2011 with it being available on bookshelves and online the Summer of 2011. Believe in my vision....here is the excerpt or the description you will find in the back of the book:

One Night Stand: My Life’s Movie

“But was it just for one night?”

A test of fate accompanies Naree Norway’s path to adulthood in this twisted tale of lovers and friends.

Fresh out of Undergrad, working towards her goals, she comes to tackle one of life’s most inevitable obstacles: Love.

Late nights, she imagines her life with the young man she deeply craves for. Their relationship was always special, but now her body told secrets that only she and he shared.

As a normal part of her clique, she highly anticipates every social opportunity she has with him. Each time, further convincing herself that because of their close association, they are destined to be.

But where did the truth go? She begins to wonder after joining a popular social network. The deeper she digs into the world of digital communication, the more the drama unfolds.

Naree’ and several of her close associates, connected via “Tetwork,” are faced with both old and new skeletons. Emotional outbursts resulting from secrets of betrayal spiral in this gripping tale of negative social interactions and its effect on relationships.

“One Night Stand” is the movie that took place right before one young woman’s eyes as she battled for the truth, her individuality and the integrity of her friends, and lover, that she shared both human and technological love with.

And it all started with just one night……

Sassy Happiness

2010-12-28T21:42:00.000-08:00

It's been a while. And on alot of days, I told myself, "I need to write on my blog. I need to update it."
Finally, here I am.

I forgot the freedom and love that comes along with talking to the World, even if only one person is listening on here (laughs).

Anyway, I used to feel guilty about thinking freely and enjoying my Happiness. Like there was a moral fiber that I had ripped up from my consciousness when I felt in such a way. But now I have learned that there is so much more to that feeling we call Happiness. That I can make what I want of this feeling, and that it has contagious energy.

I call this phase of my Life I have entered my "Sassy Happiness" because it was my attitude that brought me here. My flared temper, coupled with my drastic need for change is what got me to this point of sanity. It is here that I realize that I too, go through the phases of the moon, the tides, and the cycles of Life. Change is the only thing that is constant...I can move like the free-flowing ocean or shine like the glowing moon. These elements of nature are feminine in element anyway.

My Life seemed so complicated, so distant from my dreams, so inebriated on broken promises and lies...but I still found my wings. I may have head to search a little harder for them, but they never forsaked me. My wings to Happiness were always intact, and can never fall off. For no matter where I am, how I am acting, how I am feeling, or reacting, I have found my *Sassy Happiness*

And that feels damn good.

Love and Light Always, BlackSoulRose

And I Am... (random ponders)

2010-09-29T13:06:00.000-07:00

You know them days when you don't want nobody around you
Quiet sounds and shyt, no interruptions from your thoughts of being better
A day when the wind is whispering to you, urging you to talk to God
When you know you have your inner world to perfect...before your energy you project, to the outside world
Where a bed of black roses lay at your feet. And honeysuckles give you dream waves, and bees buzz you with honey. You feel sweet....
The high that comes from the warmth of another Soul reminisces in your mind, double time
I am a poet, I am an artist.
Express yourself

Can I live in these graces without any interference?
Can I taste maraschino cherries on scoops of orange sherbet and mix ginger in my tea?
Can I soak cucumbers in honey oil to enhance forgiveness and positivity?
I want to climb mountains, I want to sleep in trees
I want the Creation of Love to provide a sensation
I want to clear the clutter from my mind

I exhaled and it feels damn good

I. Am. Afiyana.

The Free Me...

2010-09-07T06:34:00.000-07:00

I probably went on a whim with all of this. I probably fainted deadly at the thought of your sweet kiss. Let me not reminisce, for I don't know where those lips have been. How can I blame you? Because I arranged you. I put you in birth and staged you. And this is the thanks I get.

Black Woman, be strong and hold on to the Destiny of Royalty. Black Woman, lead not into temptation of pleasures of the flesh, then what's left? You think there is no connection to the sensations we have in our body and our brain? It's one in the same. Help me to be sane...be all of that and maintain.

Regardless of any situation I am put through, regardless of what we strive as women to do, the truth will prevail. Living in hell, on scales, with whales, in deep, blue oceans that know no end...where are my friends? Where are the Holy Ones that walk the earth with me. We all make mistakes but continuity is stupidity.How do you make a vow to make a change over and over and keep doing the same thing. Your energy is bringing my vibrations down, I always end up frustrated when you come around. Is that a friend?

Fiending for what the streets have to offer...why bother? And tell you what I think. I'm too opinionated and that's why they think..I'm a bitter black soul with no one to hold. But little do they know, I could have whomever and whatever I want....but for what?

Why have the sky-divers of empty, unfulfilled leagcy suck my energy away? I could go on those rides you go on any day...bu they still don't deifne me. Sublime me...Suprise me. Yall don't hear me tho.

I could give a fuck about what the world hears. All I can do is stand fearless from the world's fears. All I can do is wipe my own tears. It's a lonely road and some tears are gonna fall. Oh, it's a lonely road and I won't get through it without God. It's a lonely road and what's sad...many of my people don't even know what we had. Glad to be sad, in the depression of red-clad. Armies...my army. Black Panthers...can you say it right?

But goodnight to the hatred, but hello to the sorrow. Maybe we were happier chained down, gave our freedom for the master to borrow. So hollow, so mean, so peaceful and serene. Were we? Was I? I was there mama, I heard your cries.

But let me not go back into the excuses of you and I. I am here now, left with my soul to fly. Soul to guide...I have to let go of the shame. Let go of the energy...the negativity they speak with my name. Let go of the hearsay, let go of the children. Ten years from now they'll all look up..."Damn, this what E&J was feeling."

And I'll leave 'em alone now, let them live and be free. I know of all of your motives, I know what it is to be me. Be me...that's all I can be. If you don't believe, just watch and see. Me...it's free.

Love Hangover (The OverDose)

2010-07-30T06:50:00.000-07:00

I think I drank too much of it last night
Fantasies of your face accompanied by moonlight
Love Hangover...

Four leaf clovers, unicorns and ancient swords
I saw a glimpse of the energy that I thought was yours
Way more intense than before
I tried to say sober...

But your kiss has a way of giving me a high
A shot through my body, that gives me wings to fly
A twist on the fate that the Most High has put in place
Never has the thought of anyone made my heart race...
Like this

Who are you? Did you come from this planet?
Are we in a cosmic dream, or does my imagination run rampant?
Do I ask questions to these things that make no real sense
Eons to cool. Passion, power, cool mint...

And ever since, you walked your way into the footprints of my Soul
It was with you, I knew, that I was to grow old
But my head is heavy, I'm still confused with the Blues
Wondering about the outcome, but time with you is new

And through this love I grew...
Did I?

All I see is black now
Jedi

Heartstrings tugged at,
tongue tied, late nights
Surreal space flights
Just can't seem to get right

This may be the first of few...
but I wish to have no more, only this one here with you

Love Hangover

E.V.O.L.V.I.N.G. (Queen I Am...)

2010-06-28T06:05:00.000-07:00

I feel peaceful, though I let peace go
No more Jesus walks and cathedrals
It’s hard to know you’re the one to navigate
Got quite an impact on my fate

Now I got a lot on my plate
But time moves slow, and then heartaches
Even longer to heal, even harder to deal
Even harder to sit and let my heart spill
Even harder to chill
I try to live like the wind
But still I have made my fair of impressions
On a canvas, known to no man’s space
They look and wonder why it seems my mind is in no man’s space
Because no man’s grace…
Can save me
I need no saving of…just a cup of water and Love

And hugs, oh how long it’s been
Since I felt the warmth of another, truly genuine
Would I even know the feeling if I felt it
From all the bullshit that I’ve dealt with
And not another bitter black woman to take the stage
The story of my life, can you write the page?
Or can you sit and gaze…like I sit and daze
Floating in purple haze, but still not feeling okay
I feel the chemicals they seduce me with
Weed supply anything other than organic
They planned it, but now that I know what to do…
But then I think, what do I know? This bullshit they call the truth

Yeah, unfortunately a member of the “troubled” youth
They laugh…say I got phrases old as Mother Goose
But I love the ones that love me back
They say “E&J I love you,” now how real is that?
How real is the fact….that right now they can’t see my graces?
But I’ll give ‘em three to five years, like sentences in prison spaces
And when they catch up, I’ll be onto a new flame
Burn, baby burn, my mind’s ashes are insane
And too tame…me, would be a hell of a task you see
Still I’m evolving….in a world of catastrophe

**Afiyana Jones**

Acceptance...

2010-05-27T05:59:00.000-07:00

But everytime I feel lost, I come out found.
I've searched, for the purpose, maybe into too many things.
But who am I without my dreams?

Today...it feels like a Renaissance. Thursday, Thursday. Wednesday was yesterday and information-filled...but still I was unthrilled.
I found myself wondering, maybe even wanting to be her. But realizing that with alot of muscle, comes alot of pain.

I know for a fact that I am strong, I know for a fact that my mind wanders and I have trenchant mental powers. I want to penetrate the Universe with my abilitiies.
I want to pierce the soul of others....a whole that allows the flow of light from the Most High to shine thru...guide thru.

Little do we know, we move so slow. Vibrations are so low.....I don't know.
I don't know what to do ...promise I don't know.

As found as I feel, I know I am lost. You know you are Lost because you found yourself...but you still know nothing.

The tree of Knowledge is infinite, so the more I grow, the more I have to grow. There's no level I can reach where I will be satisfied....please take me higher.

My desires, my rules...just tools of my imagination. I am not in control of this Destiny I call my own. It is ruled by those who earned the right to wear thrones. Afrikan Goddesses and Queens I see in my dreams. When I close my eyes I see those beautiful women surrounding me...pulling me back to sanity with their energy. Where would I be without my ground? Where would I be without my stability?

There are here, in me, healing me. They are all indwelling, but I must call on them to bring them to the forefront. For fronting, I get nothing. I guess I should speak how I feel.

I wonder if they will criticize me, for being too real.

This is why I chill..have not alot of interest in the social of situations. Have not alot of interest in those in which I may have surrounded myself with in the past, but not lately.

A few have stayed along the bassline...been there for too much of a time to let them go. They have watched me grow...and so I......

Thank my sister-friend Kyana. I love her because she accepts me for who I am. I can be vulnerable around her, I can tell her my secrets, she will never judge me. No matter how long I try to stay away from her, God will put her back on my path. She tells me the Truth about myself, I tell her the Truth. That is true Love-Friendship.

So with all of this said, I conclude by saying a breath of pure air may flow through my being. If I could just see how liberating writing (or typing) my thoughts down may be. Like a willow tree....I am everlasting.

I am a Black Rose...an Eternal Rose...w/ thorns to spare. I am not Perfect...and I will never be there.

Acceptance

**Afiyana Jones (E&J)

...And So My Transformation Begins....When will Yours??

2010-05-12T06:31:00.000-07:00

I have been in the Healing Spirit for the last few weeks. I can literally "feel" the weight of negativity and inner struggle leaving my being. Now no battle is ever won and evolving is something that goes on forever but I am making significant strides. Series of events have brought me to senses that I never knew existed within my body. I have solidified being totally in tune with my intuition and going along with what I feel is right. Outside influences, although they are sometimes very close associates, can fuck you up in the long run.

One of my first and most obvious breakthroughs was when I took a look back at my journal entries. I saw the amount of stress, anger and uncertainty I brought into situations that I wanted or needed to go well. I laughed because I wondered how I could expect things to go well for me when I was always being so pessimistic about it. I am the controller of my destiny, and with a little inspiration from the Divine Order...my life is still ALL in my hands.
-So with this energy, it was like closing a door from my past...for good. I have performed energy healings on others but as I lay in my bed, contemplating, the voices of the Most High came over me and I followed the instructions. I healed myself...seriously. Mentally, totally, drastically. I cleansed my mind and my womb from the toxic relationships I had (both romantic and otherwise). I cleared my room and living space of all the negativity and I breathed easy, for once.

You don't know how much baggage you need to clear yourself from until you start clearing it. Things that you THOUGHT you forgot about are still deep in the recesses of our brains and hearts and cause spiritual blockages. We are beings of light, the Divine Energy within us blessed from the Most High. This beautiful, Black skin I wear is nothing but a vessel, and cannot hide the turbulence I hide inside.

I'm not perfect, I am not completely healed....but as stated earlier, I made significant strides toward the promised land of milk & honey....all available here on Earth to me.

So I will end by saying that a transformation is a life-long process.I know that I am wise beyond my years and most people my age don't even want to hear about any spiritual enlightenment....for FEAR it may take away from them the guilty pleasures of life they love the most. Let me assure you, I do what I want, but know...you ALWAYS reap what you sow. A laugh now may be a cry later....
-When the walls of your own entrapment break down, you start to see others around you for what they are. You start to see the way others may be using you (for financial gain or anything else), you see the mistake you made cutting that one person who really gave a damn about you out of yout life. You start to see the intricacies of life....EXACTLY for what they are.

I have cut people off, and I have no plans of returning. I graduated last Sunday and after a walk across that stage, I took all of my sanity back with me.All of my Love, my hope, my graciousness, my passion...all of the things that fuel my fire of life...I took it back. Today marks the day where I only distribute my goods to those who are well deserving. Being spiritually conscience does not mean becoming a slave to the needs of others. There is a way to take care of your needs first without being selfish. Today is just one of those days.Today, and every day that follows, I will trust what Erin wants, what Afiyana needs.I have no time for the greedy hearts of those who pretend to be brothers and sisters.

Heal. Transform Your Life. There is no right or wrong way to do it. Tune into yourself and let the rest fall into place. God gave you your third eye to see.....see beyond the fallacy of reality.

I Love....but the most Love comes from those who return the Love back.

R.I.P. to all of the fallen ancestors who live in the sky, the mountains, the plains of the world. The trees, the dust, the air...everywhere. My transformation begins NOW....when will yours?

Creator's Love (Placed in my Heart for You Boy)

2010-05-03T12:41:00.000-07:00

I think that I've been lied too. Or either I was never told...such a shame I had to find out myself. But who else could I depend on to provide such valuable energy and informative light?

Heaven....in a black man's eyes. Heaven...in between a black woman's thighs. Sweet tenderness, hard to tame, like the moment of sunrise.

I can almost smell the euphoria of lovers post-morning session. I need not to imagine or dream, I can feel every time.Breath fills my body, sexual energy fills my space and I become overwhelmed with the feeling of weakness, strength, endurance and pain. All of the buckets of blood and water, perspiration and sedation that goes into the liasons of love makers. Those, like I, that may transport the energy to and fro. Only aligned withthe Most High you know...

I often thought what I was doing was "making love"...as I've grown, I know now that I was "fuckin'"....plain and simple. No love was exchanged in the bed of the lustful enemy who just wanted to use my body as a warm hole of pleasure. No love comes from the high-induced state he put me in just to bring me to arousal, demonstrating his lack of intelligience reagrding the feminine aspects. No love was there in the backseat of the van, pounding and pouncing. No Love....

I may swim in a million men and a million more dollars...but I was looking for Love in all the wrong places. Different credentials, different swags and different faces....but still couldn't find "it." Looking for love in the wrong places. In between the spaces, along the side of graces...but still not there...Love won't be found there...in all the wrong places.

I wish I could rewind...but then no I don't. Because now my heart is open wide...and Hope floats. Without the ability to hate and be dragged so low, how could I have such a great capacity to Love? My heart shines brightly..."you see me now...I'm beamin.'"

No more screaming, tag-teaming...most of yall is still dreamin'. But my heart, my mind....it took time...but I'm beamin'.

And now HE is all that I see. Oh, how I have waited so desperately. But I had to see...for me...that was not the way to be. Love, like life, should be carefree. Care not of the small things he may do or say...for his feelings from the inside may feel a different way. No more speculation, no more worry. This here, is a true love story.

HE is all that I see...our love making was seriously, Sacred Energy. I go back and channel in my mind, and all I see is pure energy defined. No harsh rules, no ulterior motives. I love you and you love me....

We know...we know not, what to do with the energy in which we have been shot.
HE....do you know who you are? I've written plenty of things about your shining in my stars. I am the moon under a bright light...you are my sunshine when I lose sight. Just like God told me before...to wait and let the energy sweep you away...I may wait for you for any numbers of any days *smile*

I pass on passion to you, and it adds to the steam already forming in your core. In your body....while your eyes screaming that you want more. And sometimes I feel I may put too much into the energy I know we are a part of....this energy...only for two souls that form Love.

Spoken Word lyricist...knew you could get with this. Watching me as I switch...I won't replace this.

I am in Love...with Love. I am in Love...with your Love. So much to explore...so much more for you to show me. I hope that our energy revolves and you behold me...Afiyana. Through the Amazon...through the rainforests of life...through the rivers of eternity....this side..that side. No matter where our souls travel, I shall meet and see you again. I shall be with you again. We shall live again. We shall combine to make further life and when the breath leaves these vessels we occupy now, we shall live through our further life on Earth. I am not hurt, I am healed...from Love. Love healed me, and will never hurt me. Love does not hurt. Pain does. Love does not kill...hate does. Love is in the eye of the beholder...no Love is anything that is everything. Without Love...there is....

Love. Afiyana. Peace. Love. Peace. Afiyana. Boy I love you, and I lead not my heart down an alley to lead me astray. I Love...and I will save this love here for you anyday.

Love secured safely in my heart....the Creator out it there, for you, from the Start.

Honey...Molasses

2010-05-03T12:12:00.000-07:00

I came across another one today. And I blazed her my way...indirectly.
As I sit here and think about her smile, the way she made me smile. All of her hopes and aspirations reflected in the moonlight last night. I thought I had lost all hope in the comitose, but here she flys. She flew right into my space, our stars lined up to be blissful. Only the Most High can arrange such a meeting...a meeting of Souls.

God is mysterious...a mysterious beauty that surrounds us all. If I align myself with Sacred beings, never can I fall. Never can I fail. I think that the meaning of life is defined in small moments like these. All of the bullsh*t the world has to offer....slows, and come second to a awe-inspired moment from the Most High. All moments belong to that energy but our recognition of them gives us more power in our our Sacred space. My space must be sacred and defined, for I defined the energy around me yesterday. I saw the energy waves that surrounded my being, released from my core and saw how my soul calls out to people. Certain levels of vibrations....lead to elevation.

So today started blessed, and will continue to be. Life is better than the lives of millionaires...when lived stress-free. I believe...I really do, and know now that God-energy is so omnipresent, simple, yet complex that it strategically positions us in the place of fate...at the right time...for the right things.

I started this post last week...and will finish it later..which translates into now. I know that my thoughts are beyond a galaxy that reaches most, but we are all Gods. I can't even begin to demoralize my being by sitting here and listing the trillions of thngs that have happened to us as a society, drawing us more and more to worldly ways.

I saw her and I dreamed of a place where I could be saved in my grace...the grace of Love. Where women like her would meet me to have meetings of the Soul...to stir up positive vibrations in our households, in our relationships, in our families, in our lives. In our homes, in our communities, in our backyards, at our jobs. If there was a price put on the ease of mind and positivity...I would be so broke. So broke....
These are the only things in life I long for...

So my sweet Angel, I know you will be there. When I first saw you, I said to myself "That's an angel..." Are you? Are you sent to me to build and vibe on a new level...unlike any others? One that will allow us to be free in ourselves, grow wise in our years and fear not the whispers or acceptance of "modern-day" people. Quite a struggle, quite alot to ask from a Soul...but mine is enriched, and I wish to share the Love of the Most High with you.

"Spread Goodness" is what the elders say. Spread Love from the Most High and shower me with flower essences of sweet smells, sweet hearts and sweet Black Women. My dolls, the beauty beyond beauty. The Spirit of a Goddess is covered with the Mahogany, Black, Sweet, Curvaceous honey-dripping hips and skin that are in direct alignment with the Divine Creator. I am Proud, Bold and Lovely. I am Proud to be an Afrikan Woman. I am proud to be an Afrikan. No longer will I be isolated with my potential, afraid if others will accept me or succumb to my natural, royal beauty. They have no choice.

While the others worry about the lustful, roaming eyes of men, she and I will drive into wilderness darknesses and play with strawberry fields and flowers.

While the others pay to play, we will be in the freedom of free. Spending nothing but our energy tirelessly. Living on nothing known to humanity. A new entire world only we can see. The concept of reality is fading...it's time for the new galaxies to open up.

While the others plan get-aways with no metaphysical content...we will live in the Sun. We will march like non-thieves into the hearts of many, and warm the Souls of the Lost. We will stray away from negative energy....for it is at a lost. I love you my Love, I love You, I love YOU!

Women of the world, women of the Nile...all are my child. Women of the world, women of the Nile...I Am your child.

We are one...We are of the same...can we find that magnetic wave...that leaves none of us in thegrave. Life is Eternal...Life is everlasting. Life is the answer....you are the question.

We are the quest for sweetback Knowledge...we are the quest for subliminal energy.We...are WOMAN. Afrikan Goddess, Warrior Princess...from the hills of Milano. To the droves of seas...to the smell of sweet peaches in Savannah. I am...Afiyana. You are... My Rose. "Honey Molasses"

The Same Ray of Sunshine...Floodgates of Love

2010-04-14T08:23:00.000-07:00

How Inspired the Most High has me today. I have had a tendency in the past to post with my thoughts all over the place so I now try to remember to focus in on a subject. I am still not sure exactly what this post will be about so I will just write, or type rather, and tell you about the things that come to my mind.

Firstly, is Inspiration (once again).
I recently took a Career Personality Assessment test and saw that most of my strenghts lie in inspiring others to do good work. Well, I actually feel honored by that because that is what I love to do most. I love to help people realize their full potential often when they have failed to realize it themselves.

Inspiration is such a valuable form of energy because it is the gift that keeps on giving. For instance, I feel inspired by a variety of things this morning. From the Erykah Badu c.d. I played on the way to work, to the conversations I had with certain people last night, all of these small inspirations in my life were inspired by the Most High. Therefore, their light shines on me and I am in return, shining it onto you. Do you see how this exchange goes? What makes it really beautiful though is that we are all experiencing the same ray of light, the same ray of sunshine from Ra-our Sun God.
(Pause and Refelct on that Beauty).

How often we take for granted the goodness and gracious of a lovely, sunny day. Imagine life if you could not look to the sky...
Just that thought is absent of life...absent of light. Without the sky there would be nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, that we all come from the same light, the Same Ray of Sunshine. And through that Sunshine in our hearts, we Inspire ourselves and others around us. Inspiration is such a nice word to me right now, such an amazing theme. I see it as a transitionary phrase as well for me at this point. I am transitionaing with my power because I do not only use my Inspiration for myself, but to Inspire others. That's what begins to happen when you are overflowed and overjoyed with Love, Peace and Inspiration. You share it with others, you open up the sunshine in their hearts.
-The same way that people share their emotions and their problems when they are overflowed with negativity, wickedness, depression and self-doubt. Choose to be the one who provides people with solutions, not problems. Happiness, not scolding. Progression, not depression.
"Love. And Be Loved." -This is also becoming a favorite quote/ theme of mine.

In Ms. Erykah Badu's latest album New Amerykah Part 2: Return of the Ankh, she has a song called "Love" where she breaks down some very true things about emotions. The song begins by explaining that all of our emotions have a vibratory frequency to them. That the only emotions that human beings experience in this plane are: Love and Fear. Any emotion that we have is either directly or indirectly related to these two emotions. She is so on point with that. To give you an example: If you go into your family reunion with the expectation that all of your family is going to embarass you with crude comments, loud talking, belching and everything possible to work your nerves, BELIEVE that this is exactly the type of experience you will encounter. Your mind allowed you to set the parameters of the situation with your ability to function around those that you are obviously emotionally connected to, your family. Your ability to love was overshadowed by your fear, or ability to hate and be the real person that you are.

If you take the same scenario and you go into it without the fear of being seen or perceived a "certain way," then this will be the ultimate bonding experience for you and your family. By not enclosing yourself with that fear of embarassment, rejection, agitated nerves etc., you have opened up the floodgates of love, allowing yourself to be totally loving and accepting of your family, as they will be towards you.

In Life, the very same rules apply. We all tend to wear masks of pride, anger, complaints and self-righteousness. These emotions are all normal but are being processed the wrong way.Why not be prideful about the fact that you can take control of your life and sto being a mental slave to the society around you. Or how about becoming angry about the way one of your brothers or sisters is representing themselves out in the street so you decide to inspire them to do better with themselves. There is a such thing of becoming so angry about something that you gently handle it. Or how about complaining about nothing that you have not exhausted every possibility of fixing yourself. This alone would cut down on alot of the confusion we experience each day in our lives. And self-righteousness...well that just needs to be displayed in a positive manner. There is a very thin line between confidence and cockiness. Know that although you may be more spiritually attuned, better dressed, a better reader or more accustomed to the "delicacies of life" then the next man, we all are still EQUAL. The Creator created all of us and therefore as humans we have the same capacity to do the same things mentally, physically and spiritually (actually, there may be some tweeks to that information here and there but that is a topic for another blog post :). If one man or woman can do it, then any man or woman can.

Are you functioning on a high vibratory frequency of Love? Or on the low, slow vibrational frequency of Fear?
Fear and Love are as different as night and day, but night and day are both, inevitable. Therefore it is natural to fear, natural to feel a certain way about things you don't understand. But it is also within nature that you find that shining light, that Golden Ray of Sunshine that is promised each morning when the sun rises. And when the sun sets, our emotions don't set with it, we all are still...the same frequency.

So ride in Love, open your soul to the overflowing blessings of the Most High that naturally weave their way into your life when the highest freuqency of all, Love, takes over your being.

Fear not. "For there is nothing to Fear but Fear itself." - Roosevelt

Love & Fear. So far apart but so near. I am, We are...the same Golden Ray of Sunshine. Allow all of our hearts to shine collectively, let the floodgates of Love free...and at Peace our souls shall be.

Peace, Love and Energy always. Tua Neteru (My Inspiration through you)...E&J**

I've Accepted That Too...

2010-04-05T05:49:00.000-07:00

I once was a simple Wild Child with no direction. Now I am a Nubian Child Goddess...what a transition.

I have accepted that I will not be understood by the spiritually and mentally meeks of men. Can I help it? No!
Do I plan to help it? Hell no.
-If the student asks, then the teacher shall help. Why should I spend all of my time and energy trying to wake up those who don't want to be shaken from their deep slumber?

Miami, I think about. I think about my entire college experience and sometimes get nauseated. At the simplicity, the superficiality, the clothes that make the person (not the other way around), the oversexing, the abusing of our bodies....I too fell victim to this so I relate so whole-heartedly. Why do we continue to manipulate and dilute our bodies like this? Those that put these images out don't love us..they love the MONEY that they give us...that we give right back to them! How many niggas (excuuuuse me) you know that can save 200 dollars opposed to buying a pair of Jordan's?
I too am a victim of the scam for I love material possessions...but not more than the moral fabric of my life..of my being!

I've Accepted that not only will he deny the feelings, he will cringe at them, seeing it as a sign if weakness. I have accepted that his friends' outlandish disrespect for Black Women is what fuels his Ego and will make him treat them...how many others may treat them. I have accepted that...but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

I have accepted that it will take a truly, Special, touched by GOD-man to be my mate for life. The way we raise our children, what we eat, how we live, will coincide with the Creator and therefore we must be in tune with the Cosmos, and therefore each other, ultimately.

I have accepted that romantic love is not the only kind of Love to experience in this plane. Love of Life. Love of Trees. Love of Mental Stability. Love of the Children. Love. A four-letter word that holds so much power, and pain.

I have Accepted that I was born to make mistakes. That EVERY little single thing that happens in our life is for a REASON. A real Reason...and that reason often holds a bitter lesson. Divine Order is in control darling, become the captain of your ship with the God-energy inside you to guide you.

Inspiration comes from Inspiration. Inspired by those that don't even know you, know us. You inspire me. Inspire someone today. I encourage you! Tell that woman on the train that you like her scarf or that black man how proud you are to see him walking with his kids. Help that elderly lady get her groceries to the car or simply smile at a stranger and see how much this brightens YOUR day.
Love. Inspiration. Peace. Are all two way-streets. We are all from the same energy and therefore have the ability to HEAL each other. Play a vital role in healing someone else's afflicted wounds today. It will also help you to heal yours.
I've Accepted That I am a Nubian Child Goddess with the strength, emotions and stability to sink a ship...or keep it afloat.

I've Accepted That my Love is inspired by the Creator's and by you. I choose to Inspire and Uplift. With all the Love the Creator has given me...why keep it to myself??

Love. Peace. HairGrease. HotCombs and BBQ Plates. They all make the sum of us...and I am looking for much Love to come in the Summer months.

Inspiration= Creation. Recreate yourself!

Follow me down this Lovely Path...

Umm Excuse Me...Have You Seen My FREEDOM?!?!?

2010-04-01T05:43:00.000-07:00

I wonder who I could ask this question to. Our minds are so locked down right now, screaming to be free.
Where do you even begin to look? How can I find it? Did I ever have it? Will it cost me?

Freedom. What's the cost?
Honestly speaking, this post came to me while drifting to sleep last night. I always ask myself a series of questions before I officially begin to dream but while searching for answers about the Revolution, Black Supremacy, White Supremacy and the like, I came up with nothing. But however I also did find that all whites are not racist and all blacks aren't Revolutionaries.

But then I let my mind wander a bit without my conscience navigating and it hit me: When will I be free? I want to ask somebody on the street today "Umm...excuse me. But have you seen my Freedom?"

So many of us ask this question: Mostly symbolically or subconsciously. Where can we find freedom as a People, as a Nation?...a Nation of Slaves, both mental and physical. Let me not go into the cliche' aspects of the Universe but ponder on my thought of: Freedom.

Webster's Dictionary defines Freedom as: The quality or state of being free: as a : the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action B: liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another : independence c : the quality or state of being exempt or released usually from something onerous

I highlighted/ bolded some words in that definition because they are, to me, the most important. All of these things which this definition characterizes as Freedom: Liberation (from SLAVERY/ Restraint), POWER (from another) are all things that cannot be given to anyone. They cannot be bought (although some believe that money = power) or Sold (even though our Ancestors were).

So I may walk outdoors, go to a church home, meet with the New Black Panther Party, sing Jill Scott and Lauryn Hill at the top of my lungs, only tune in to VH1 Soul, eat green beans with no meat and go to every Rally/ March for racial inequality...but still, am I Free?

I can become rich and famous, want for nothing in this world and live on Islands unknown to humanity, but still, am I Free?

"See, I been-a-trying to find my Freedom, See. We been-a-pushin' and goin' a long-a-ways see...want my Freedom see...want myyyy Freedom see!".............Do you hear your Ancestors singing?.....

I would be lying if I said I knew all the answers, or even all the questions. But I do wanna know: Have you seen my Freedom?

Is my Freedom on a t.v. screen or in a magazine. Is my Freedom in that paper that glows green, and makes even the most Righteous man scheme?

My Freedom, My Free.

Will you ever find me?

But I found my Free, under a tree, within the earth...sat there, that book and me. Freedom is learning, Freedom is knowledge, Freedom is not half the shit they teach you in college! (Shoutouts to HU...Ha!)

If you notice one thing I didn't list as what can make me free is consciously freeing my mind.

  "To free my mind, takes time, but when mastered, is sublime."

It would only make sense that the only way I can answer this question the same way I received it. If you recall, this question came to me while I was letting my mind float. Therefore, it only makes sense to me that the ANSWER would come to me the same way.

Freedom is Mental, therefore Elemental and Instrumental...to Change.

Change. Some people hear that word and become afraid but Change is Natural my dear, Change is all around you.

I have the answer to my question, and although I may not always apply this Knowledge, simply knowing is the best start.

  Free your MIND...and everything else shall follow behind.

(Since Brother Malcolm visited me last night and probably is most of the Inspiration for this post as well, may I share with you some of his thoughts?)

"Nobody can give you Freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you're a man, you take it."

"You can't seperate peace and Freedom because no one can be at Peace unless he has his freedom."
- Malcolm X, Malcolm X Speaks, 1965

And with that said, Peace to all. Peace be with you. Uhuru, Knowledge and Greetings from the Most High...Neteru!

Free your MIND......and leave all the rest behind.....

E&J

Life, like Love...is not made to be lived alone....(an Afiyana post)

2010-03-22T06:21:00.000-07:00

The rain came...and soon left.

Ahhh, today how good it feels to breathe a new breahth of air. I feel refreshed. Blessed. No stress (well...)

Anyway, although I can come off very strong, I too, am weak. It takes a real woman to say that, to admit it to herself and others. I am the first to help, the first to pray for you, the first to send my Positive energy out to you...but believe me, I need your help too.
Life is not made to be lived alone...the creatures, the trees, the nature, the forest; all of these beings around us...sprouted from the same Creative Force energy. Life is not made to be lived alone.
And not only in the context of soulmates and lovers, though LOVE is one of my favorite topics, there are plenty others. Love, Identity, Nature, Life, Cure/ Healing, even March Madness!
But I remain as will, that Life, is not made to be lived alone.

I too go through battles in my heart and my being. Sometimes caught up in what someone else wants me to be, or modeling a picutre of myself that I know is astray from my heart...but aren't we all guilty? I just wish we could all be more real with each other. My Guardian angel told me this past Friday that everyone will not see your emotions/ passion as a weakness. This is so true, in that, we get so hell-bent on protecting our pride that often times, we forget how to Love. We forget how to be on with Nature, with each other, with our sister, with our brother.
-I vowed a long time ago to stop calling Black women bitches and to respect my Black Kings in this world...recognizing the pain in myself allowed me to open my heart to the Unity between us as a people. What you should never do is allow someone else to stop YOU from being YOU. For instance, I sometimes smile and acknowledge my brothers and sisters that I see on the street and they ignore me. But instead of becoming discouraged, I recognize that many of us cannot break away from the product our old "masters" created for us and therfore, remain stuck. So I still acknowledge them, smile, and pray that I can impact them to speak to another one of their brothers or sisters they see on a later date.

-For real though, this post was inspired by a slight trauma I experienced. But I know for sure that instantly, the God within you can cure all the ill wounds of society. While last summer I spent alot of time in isolation, I see that this summer is a time for more growth. Last summer I had to grow spiritually strong by myself, finding my own path. I have continued down this road for a while but I know now that this summer is bigger than me. This is the summer to spread my love to the masses, to enjoy the nature in springtime and to rejoice with love all of those that I come into contact with.
What good is the knowledge and Love of the Most High if I only use it to my advantage? Love continuously flows through when you open your heart to others.

-Life, is not made to be lived alone.
And as I sit on my throne, I promise to make all of those who are involved in my life, more spiritually attuned by conversations and transactions with me. Most of this comes to me in my dreams, for I am a fairy Goddess, with nature's secrets of the Love-filled atmospheric Universe.

Can you float with me? Will you? For my life, like yours, was not made to be lived alone.

Join me brothers and sisters, on my throne. In this life (and the next one), you shall never....be alone.

Afiyana

My Alter Ego(s) Revelation... :)

2010-03-18T09:08:00.000-07:00

Good Morning, Good Afternoon and Evening. Whenever this post finds you is fine with me. I am a quiet "E", and then an apostrophe. Nevertheless, I have been on some serious self-discovery since May of last year and here I am in 2010 with a serious revelation people.

I just found out that I have SEVERAL alter egos.....Not one, or even two, but follow, for me to name a few!

Erin Jenkins (This is the name I was given at birth. But here, in Amerikkka, it's my Slave Name. Even though the name Jenkins, over the years, has come to be assocaited with Black Families, this is not my original Afrikan name. But, it is the one I us professionally, vocationally and for contracts. This is the very surface part of me. Erin is just an identifier, like a Social Security number. It says nothing about the depths of who I am.)

E&J

E&J (This is my Radio Personality and Name. E&J is a nickname that I received in college from a very special friend of mine and the people who are most comfortable around me usually call me this name. It has nothing to do with the drink LOL...it is simply my coined name for my unique personality, perspectives and humor that I bring to any situation. She is a little poetic, but more floetic, if you catch my drift. E&J is more of a stage name in that sense; the way I appear to the world as a journalist, activist, writer and sometimes, comedian. Cool, calm, collective and a tad bit of a handful. If you know me, for real, then you probably identify me as Ms. E&J)

Queen Afiyana

Queen Afiyana (Ahhh, now we are getting deeper. This name was literally, brought to me by the Heavens. I received this name from the Spiritual realm for it is my Spirit Name. When I am in the presence of other spirits, this is probably what I am identified as. Afiyana is a pleasure of sorts. She is wild, very wild; with rebellious hair and a mean switch to match. She is a Fire if you light that match, a Desire. Her power symbol and animal is her Black Panther "Tao." She travels with him through the nighttime Amazon, carrying a stick for protection and wears animal wraps on her black skin. She is a Queen. An independent, fierce, heroic, healing, teacher to all humanity. Her sweet lips whisper life into the words: Justice, Harmony, Love, Religion (non-traditional) and Spirituality. She is Spirituality; for she is the epitome of the Black Woman's essence. All of the traits, light and dark, and then some. Her bronze frame is sure to tame any of the suitors she pursues. Back arched like a sleek cat...she is Queen Afiyana. And the

nighttime forest is her best friend.)

Renelle Revolutionare'

Renelle Revolutionare' (You can call her all of the egos balled into one. Renelle is the Revolutionary spirit that awakened my senses and traced me back to my roots, our history. She was one of the first alter Egos ever created in my psyche, on a spiritual level though. I remember her clearly, but she only emerges on some days. As a political activist, there's Renelle Revolutionare'. As a poem writer about Black Struggle {in Amerikkka or elsewhere}, there she is again. As a guest speaker at open mics and panels for discussion about Black Progress {and the sorts}, there she is. Renelle Revolutionare' is the Black Panther in the figurative form of the word. The spirit of our {militant} black Ancestors lives in her deeply and she firmly believes in Malcolm X when he whispers to her "By Any Means Neccessary." She is free. She is Freedom. Renelle Revolutionare' is the face to be worn, at times. But she emerges as the realest form of real if you have ever seen it. Soul Sistah- with a Black Fist raised. The revolutionary spirit is deep in the recesess of her DNA, and she despises ignorance on any level. Don't piss Renelle Revolutionare' off though, that's all I'ma say, today and anyday. :)

With that said, where is your journey of self-discovery headed to? I ask you because I know mine has just begun. Even with these few alter egos, I know all of them will evolve as I do. Not everyone has alter egos, or even seeks to find them. But I have found mine, and oh waht a day it is to rejoice. To the Most High, my feminine and masculine energies are to join and be proud. Today I fully step into my crown. -Queen Afiyana

Time and Space....Controller of Your Destiny..??

2010-03-10T07:04:00.000-08:00

"Today, nobody cares, about tomorrow, but they will." -Lupe Fiasco "I'm Beamin"

Good morning, afternoon or evening, whichever time you are reading this. Today is blessed because it is today, and that's all. It's just a mere blessing that I see another day, why fret about today's possibilities? One of my priorities at this time in life is trying to find the balance between making things happen, and going with the flow of the Natural Divine Order of things. While I know there are things I can will into happening through daily affirmations, chants, rituals and meditations, there is also an order in the cosmos that is a force to be reckoned with. I rather not try and disturb the natural flow of things. While I think some things we want, or think we need (like long-term goals) rely strictly on a higher source for its material manifestation, things we want now, like short-term things, we can "will" into happening. You are a product of the Universe and therefore the energy you put out or think about or dream about is all in the cosmos, in the form of energy. When and only when you truly understand this, is when you can begin to ride and rock on a spiritual plane.

But today is not the day to point fingers or focus on the many differences we have, why not focus on our biggest similiarity, that we are all products of the Universe, well, most of us.
Anyway, I thank the Most High for the Inspiration these energies give me everyday. For giving me a fresh breath of air to breathe, just for this moment in time right now, we are all blessed. Nevertheless, I have several things that I feel but today I think I will focus on the cosmos, law of attraction and the attainment of the good you want in your life. This is strictly my knowledge, no cited sources, just a drop from jewels I have picked up here and there.

I attract into my life all that is good in the Universe....but be careful what you ask for. I asked for this one night and booooy, my ancestors were all over me :). Not that it bothered me, but it was a bit of intense energy right when I was trying to fall asleep. They watched over me though, my guardian angels even spoke to me last night, threw a spiritual flower my way and said "This is for you." I smiled, physically and with my heart because I know I love her, and she loves me even more. The beauty about the wisdom and comfort of the cosmos is that our Gods and Goddesses love us even when we are too caught up in the world to love ourselves. There is a spiritual plane, other dimensions, and I have been to them through astral projections and simulation in my brain....but nevertheless....

It may sound a bit spooky to some, as it still spooks me out sometimes when I'm alone but the Law of Attraction is true in saying that you only attract the energy that you put out. With that said, of course I feel fearful and anxious about what spirits may be around me when I am angry, jealous, envious or upset for no reason. Those negative spirits are going to attach themselves to whatever type of energy I'm putting out. However, when I am blessed, loving, patient, kind, I feel secure with the spirits around me because I know they are smiling, giving me a taste of the Beautiful Bliss that comes with the paradise of life. I am fully aware that true paradise cannot be brought on this plane but until my freedom from time and space through death occurs, I have to make due with what I have. And what you have...

And what we have is the Energy of the Most High, yes, the man or woman you call "God," that energy is all within you. This has nothing to do with religion though, let's get that straight from the beginning. I'm talking spiritual awareness, man, woman and child- the three basics of life. Because like I said, this is a reflection of our similiarities, not our differences. So, know that with that energy you can chose to uplift, inspire, love and respect yourself and others. Or you can continue to make excuses for your behavior (like I still do some days) and say that God forgives us all in the end. This is true, but believe that you will experience a Karmic debt and pay for what you do in other lives that will follow. Reincarnation is real, as energy is only recycled over and over because the first law of energy is that it is never created nor destroyed, only transferred. So transfer that negative energy out of your life right now, release it from your mind and send it to the cosmos for your spiritual guardians to neutralize-breathe in and out 25 times, and see what a difference this small-scale meditation can do.

Yeah, right now, go ahead and do it....breathe in, breathe out..25 good ones!

Wow! What a wonder the breath of God can do...that breath you are breathing right now! Attract into your life all that is good, but serously, be careful what you ask for- like I said. Through positive affirmations I know for a fact that you can make things happen...but don't forget about the Divine Order, the stars have to line up just right for your attainment to reach your desired effect. If not, it may fall through and not go like you may want or need it to.Everything in the Universe is connected and therefore has to correlate to deliver your specific desires when you ask for them. For example: let's say you ask for that certain someone that you have been eyeing to some into your life as more than just a friend. You attract that energy in your life but you force the situation into happening, you grow tired and reckless from baggage from past relationships and three months into it, the relationship is over. What a lost huh? I know, shit happens! But there were some things you could have done after you attracted the energy by just letting the Creator run the course. You have no need to stress, the Universe takes care of the tension for you. Just speak to the Universe about what you want and let the magic in your life happen. Attract and Enjoy...that's the small quote lesson of the day.

"Attract (pause and wait) and enjoy." -Thank the Cosmic Energy!!!!!!!

**Now if you would have waited, prayed and meditated on the situation after you asked for it, your spirit guides would have told you that you needed time to heal before you got into this relationship. Or that the other person really wasn't mentally ready for the strain you would put on each other. If you would have worked WITH the cosmos, you would have been able to rightfully fulfill your destiny. By waiting for your insecurities, discretions and past hurts to fly away with the wind, and this does not just take a day, or weeks, or months. Emotional baggage builds up from life and we express it in our everyday interactions. But anyway, if you would have gone through that intense healing, had an in-depth conversation with the other person about your needs and wants and then let the Divine energy flow like that, then you would have been in the Beautiful Bliss of love that may have lead to marriage with the young man or woman. This is a really small example but do you catch my drift?

We, as humans, have been so trained to get things that we want, when we want them. We are so inclined to instant gratification that we forget that time and distance really do not exist. You know how you can be inspired by a text message that someone sends from millions of miles away, or the way you "feel" the person that is about to call you. God does not wear a stopwatch, the spirit world lines up the Universe for things to happen when they should, you just have to attract the energy in your life (without doubt or fear) and without a time limit. Let the good come into your life, and don't count on things to happen exactly when YOU want them too, how wonderful are Beautiful suprises huh?

I wrote this with you in mind, and my Divine self was speaking through the ink, the page, the keyboard, your screen. I learned from this post too, sometimes it helps to just write things out so I can bring some order to all the scatter and chaos in my brain. I have to learn to wait, I am still struggling with letting go, and letting God. Divinity is Originity, the original energy can never be reformed, but we can form it to bring good in our lives, and I sweep the floors I walk on with essences of good graces. Are you living...or are you exisiting? Let the good in you life happen now, I mean today...and change tomorrow.

Real Reflections.

"Today, nobody cares, about tomorrow, but we will."

Frequency

2010-03-08T09:40:00.000-08:00

Someone said "Life's a bitch, so I blog." It made me laugh, but since I don't feel my life is a bitch, I really can't relate. However, what I can relate to in that statement is that there are certain things that happen in life that motivate you to do a post. Today seems like one of those days...

While my mind is everywhere right now, I want to focus in this early afternoon, focus on what has been on my mind and having me singing all morning.

So I saw him this past weekend, yes him. I was more elated at the fact than the reality, the fact that I saw him. It seemed to be unspeakable energy between us, times I'm told that maybe one day he'll grow bold. But I feel what is sure to come, nevertheless....

I found it odd how he seemed to play me off sometimes, like he had forgotten about our time spent together. But then I remember that he didn't. My psychic energies tell me that he hides his feelings that are very true, not just the feelings but the consciousness, although I question whether he knows as much about our existence as I do.
My psychic energies also tell me that I am catching up to him. How unimaginable, that I am not the only one daydreaming about our future together. I thought he was the hindrance, then I thought I was. But I think I just don't know and I have to let the energy flow when we are on the same page, wavelength or the sort. I see him and I can't even look in his eyes. We both were more open that night, but I refrained then too. I have to be sure though, and now I am sure, but is he?

See this thing we call an emotional rollercoaster is very real and we and the ultimate creator are spinning the wheels. See my God created this beautiful world with much Love, Peace, Harmony and passion flowing into it. We have those abilities and free-flowing energy within us, however, reaching its zenith is both a powerful choice, and an elusive one. Are you sure this is what you want...are you sure?

My ancestors will continue to ask me this question as I sift through everyday's rememberances with my thoughts and prayers about him, about being with him. If you're reading right now baby boy, I'm talking to you. How immature I am to get upset with you for not knowing how I feel. Or feeling like the things you do are to purposely hurt me. If they are, it is no need for that and that tension should cease to exist. You think I don't feel you when you send your energy out, our thoughts intermingling. I wake up and feel as if I just saw you, or will see you.

Is it real?

Is this real because I only see it in my dreams. I saw it that night, you continue to try and hide it but I have no regard for how I feel inside. Not only will I try to be there, I am there, I have everything you need right here. Why don't you come and let our love blossom together, you and me forever. I may sound as if I live in fairy tales but that's what I see when I look at you, my escape. Why don't you be my escape. Why don't you be my roadmap to a better world, fetch me like a squirrel, and lead me astray....to my Destiny.

I feel that you were the man created for me, I know in my heart what is real and I know you sometimes deny the feeling. "He can't control it." Is that why you walk away, is that why you feel me stare and act like you then don't feel anything there? Is that why you taught me to be more elusive, to catch up with you? Is that why you have magnetised me? I see it times three, I feel it in the free, the free of you and me.

I get over one obstacle and there comes another, can't live with loving you like a brother, only like a lover. Like the soul of your mother, a love like no other. I read and weep about my strengths, there is no place more sacred on this earth than being with her, with me, my guardian, Spiritual ancestry you see. She guides me, she guides us. We are the embodiment of wisdom, with knowledge of this earth you walk upon. We are one, and we are here, to claim you without fear. Had I been all the way there, maybe I would have grabbed you and kissed you on the dance floor, no sense in hiding it. But I remain guarded, fiully knowing and feeling that after this trip (to outer space), we'll see what's real baby. They all want you, but I need you. I want your body, but need your mind. I finally had the urge to have more sex with you, but I know it was real because my body wouldn't register until my mind was healed. No anomosity towards the ones that want you to themselves. I have you to myself, as I need you. Do you need me? Make you need me, but you'll see...I can see sometimes when you look at me with those sensual eyes, more than lust in your desires. You long to be touched, to hold, to be held. I long to swell your mind and penis with thoughts of me, sheer ecstasy. Our love making is to be a sweet creation, a spiritual exchange of two heavenly bodies. You are the stars and I am your atmosphere. Do you feel me baby, I am sending this out to you. No matter what you do, you can't escape what's true. No matter what you do, you can't escape how I'm feeling about you. Confusion clouded my memory, my own attitude giving way to doubt. However, whenever, just like last time, now it's your time to figure me out. Do you know I want you, try not to care, try not to stare, while there's another there. And I saw you looking plenty of times, from across the room. And this time, it was my spirit's eyes, that were on you. Please don't think of the others, they can't do you like I do. Right now, at this time, time and forever, I am calling out to you. Baby, can you hear me.

Come with me to reach our frequency. It's somewhere heaven-sent. I am no longer ashamed or afraid to show my love, give me one hint and I will meet you above.

Please baby, if we haven't already let's complete it, and reach...our frequency......

**BlackSoulRose** -Afiyana

With You.....

2010-03-04T06:04:00.000-08:00

In the realm of reality, we often forget to count our blessings. I am guilty of taking my mind for travels all day everyday and I am a dreamer. The key is to be a dreamer, but equally as much as a doer.

So, though there are things that want to throw me off balance, I learned yesterday that I truly, hold the cards to my Destiny. Although I already knew this, it soaked in more. I also learned that with Freedom comes responsibility. The responsibility to lead my life in a direction of positive enlightenment, free thinking and free love, or restricted access to the Creator's love through unforgiveness, fear, doubt, anxiety and cruelness.

Let us Marinate and soak in while thinking about how much emotional baggage we are carrying with us everyday. When are we going to dump that stuff out? Give our hearts the room it needs to breathe and let new love in...

I was scared, I was afraid of rejection from a young man that I thought did not find me worthy. I'm not afraid to put my feelings down, my vulnerabilities. How can I expect others to open up with me if I do not open myself up? Whoo, I just felt a sigh of relief from the pressures (real or imagined) that have been holding me back from my destiny. "You must fight for your rights," said Bob Marley. And yes, we sometimes must fight (physically, mentally or spiritually) for things that are ours. Anything worth having is usually fought for, you will only lose appreciation for it if it doesn't challenge you, make you wonder. Real Love cannot stray though, the way the Creator loves you and I is infinite...Love and Knowledge (are key) and are both infinite journeys.

So now that I have relieved some of my tension through expression to you, may I say it, that I am in love. Yes, and with a man. And yes, it is real this time. I know because he not only gives me that Jones in my entire being, but his energy literally sweeps me and takes me for a whirlwind. He is breathtaking, he is taken away by me. He is love, he is Peace, he is Happiness, he is my friend first, and I love him. Will you please look my way if you feel me, if you do I must tell you. I must tell you that I love you, I want you, I need you, and it would add purejoy to my life if you would be a part of it everyday. I never saw how beautiful you truly are, inside and out, but now I know, or am just beginning to know. I love you so much that I cry sometimes just thinking about it. Do you know that, would you? Love me, Love me, say that you Love me darling. Need me, need me, go on and need me. I won't be able to concentrate until I know I have fully infiltrated your mind, let me penetrate, your soul, mark you with my ecstasy, guide you with my love. Think of me when you sleep, think of me when you dream, think of me every night. There's not a love song that comes on that doesn't make me think of you. Truly I am blessed to have thought about it, and here I am writing about it, all that's left to do is live it....with you.

The Treasure of Life

2010-02-22T18:55:00.000-08:00

When a breath of fresh air comes, the old wind tries to hold us back. I am trying to let go of past insecurities, but why does that part of my conscience keep calling me. The wavelength of security comes few and far in between. Most would say that I'm living a dream.
I could say today is a great day, a new night. I still feel that way though, the nighttime has become my friend now. The place where I gain peace and reconsciousness. So it doesn't matter who you are. Those like me come few and between...far. I am far away, past your mind's galaxy. But tonight I come here to write about my love, my love that is far out there, but in the clouds.

My love is...still building and still dwelling within the halls of possibility. I am on a new plane though, and my glow, noticed by others, will never be undermined. I came from behind, ready to shy away from insecurity, there it was, never to meet me. My brain may seem a little scattered at times like this but I am regaining persepective and energy. Wisdom has taught me that all things will be answered with time. That the symbols and energy that come to you are all in Divine Order. The Creator knows no time, or space, therefore does not dwell or make himself a slave to it. I take things slow, I learn a new lesson everyday, and I keep my heart close to me. There are many things I want to do, many projects I want to pursue, but lately I have only been thinking about you. Maybe that's why I have been so lazy. My daydreams and astral projections take me for travels so deep and beyond that I have no time for things of this world, as of today. I will spend this time dwelling, and living in the present because I will start working in less than two weeks. We'll see how much time I have for myself then. My boo is good though, I am good and together we will grow. I may seem discouraged by the amount of energy I put into it and what I am seeing but love is a waiting game. Not really, but a test of patience, strength and endurance. Love is a lesson: The hardest life lesson.

I look to other relationships and know that I have never truly loved before. I read today where someone said that there is no way you could truly be in love with someone if you have never been with them. Like a relationship is needed to validate and solidify true love. That is where close-minded people get things mixed up. I actually think love thrives better in a setting that knows no limitations or titles, just the Beautiful Bliss of the communication you make with your tongues, bodies, language (body and otherwise). The beautiful music of lovemaking is what I am awaiting, what I will awaken in him, in us. I can no longer deal with outside influences about it. No more talk about the situation. I am on a waiting plane, I am destined for success in my endeavors because I will them into happening. Am I not aware of my spiritual power. Do you know who you are? I was scarred, and scared, but no longer, no more. Today and forever, I claim my treausure. Reasurrance through whatever. I am assured, I am Queen Afiyana and I have come to explore: My Treasure of Life.

OneLove

LOVE BLACK

2010-02-03T11:06:00.000-08:00

When Love is in the air...it feels like whispering in the wind.
I don't just speak of love between ancient lovers, but love from the Source.
When you show me love, through hugs, glances, comments and energy,
.
Love from my brothers and sisters overwhelms me, I feel so priveleged to feel what you have for me.
If I could repay you millions fold, I would, I will.

Love is a four-letter word that holds the dimensions to creation itself. The human mind cannot even begin to grow on the concept of love, not even an ounce of the cup the Creator has poured for you, for us.
I feel so much love in the air, and I have to share this with you. My last post dealt with some anxiety, so this is to neutralize and cool out the situation.

"Love...is the only reason. And my ultimate goal."

With LOVE, I feel I can accomplish the impossible, I feel I can grow into a Spiritual Goddess, with limitless wings. I feel that angels can sing to wake me in the morning, I feel that I can hear their whispers as I talk quietly to you in a corner.

The rivers that flow, the oceans that grow with time and eternity, are mirrors of the love most of us lack. The time is now, my fear and doubt shadow the meeks but I, I stand alone, and I fight this war...Soldier of Love.

Soldier for Love, I have known many allies and my troops grow stronger everyday. The birds, the lakes, the rivers, the oceans, the sky, the plants, the trees and the flowers. The Black. Black is LOVE.

I equate water to love because water is, a feminine conscienceness. A feminine aspect that creates love in all of us. Your first love is signified through the relationship with your mother. And then, all other relationships form from there. Many of us are missing that fundamental piece. So go back, and find that love in your mother if you have lost it. That is the source, that is the water, that is..the LOVE.

Black river, rain down on me. Shower me with the love of Creation, the love used for sedation, the love of temptation, no forbidden fruits. For nothing in this world is forbidden by you and I. Sweet ginger roots and lullaby pies. My Black Love. My Black Love.

I wait for you in the depths of the streams of alleys that fall from skies and windows from buildings. For you are with me, always with me. From ancient soil to industrialization...Love is the only fertilization.

So, may we plant these seeds together. Black Love, meant to last forever. Black Love, my brother, my sister. Black LOVE.

My Love, Your Love, Our Love....is Black Love.....LOVE BLACK.....and I will always love you back.

**BlackSoulRose**

Is it Your Mind? Exposing the true owner of Black Thought today and the Black Face: Which Mask do you wear?

2010-01-31T22:46:00.000-08:00

I cried tears tonight for a number of reasons.
You can say it was sparked by the live showing of the Grammys this evening, January 31st, Sunday night.
After heaps of black people went to go shout and rejoice in church pews this morning, they tuned their televisions into another form of mental slavery.
Blacks. African-Americans. Niggas. Coons. Slaves. The President of the United States of America. Africans. Negroes........
Never represented well, and we gave right back into it tonight.

Let me start by saying that it is no coincidence that Robert Downey Jr. was used to "liven" up the Grammys by introducing Jamie Foxx and T-Pain. If you are not familiar, Downey was also used to play a black man on the 2008 movie "Tropic Thunder" that also starred Jack Black and Ben Stiller. I found this somewhat offensive but hadn't paid real close attention until I stared making the connections this evening. He is becoming the new "Black Face" right under our noses. Don't believe me, on your own time please go to bing.com and put in Robert Downey Jr- The New Black Face.

Anyway, "Blame it on the Alcohol" was one of the most ignorant songs of 2009 but besides that, the performance was definitley "Black-Faced." First, you have Jamie Foxx come out in a cape, spin and begin singing the lewd lyrics. Followed by the forever foolish T-Pain with his cape, singing in auto-tune and spinning with a top hat on. His name is justified because that what he causes black people, PAIN. Painful ignorance. Then, Doug E. Fresh came out and b-boxed on the track, just to add a lil' "Flava" for the white audience I suppose. It was cool, but Doug E., being one of the pioneers of Hip-Hop, should have known better. Then to add insult to injury, T-Pain has his mentally retarted sister come out and dance wildly to the track. The stage was chaotic, loud and ignorant, just how they view "us" anyway right?
I cringed at this performance, embarassed to be represented that way. I couldn't believe that Black People saw no problem with this display of our culture. On one hand, earlier this week we had the President of the United States, a black man, give the State of the Union address and then you exploit us like this? Or did we do it to ourselves......

Why do we allow ourselves to be set in these traps black people? Why do we accept these images of ourselves? Why?

Then, we ended the show with Lil' Wayne, Drake and Eminem. Besides the fact that every other word had to be edited out for offensive lyrical content, Lil' Wayne definitley played into the Black Face mold. He did tonight and he has been for a long time. That's another topic for a entirely different post though. While I understand that Hip-Hop is a sensitive subject for many Blacks, young and old, I must say that the magic that once graced from turntables, speakers and microphones has faded away. The pride, the essence, the struggle, the love...those fundamental elements are not found in most of today's mainstream Black music.
If we look at the number of young males and females that are influenced by Wayne's "Money is the Motivation" and drug-induced lyrics, you really don't have to wonder about why Black America is in the state that it's in. This type of music and exposure to ideals and concepts like this are a major conribution to the destruction of the black mind. Please understand, when other races laugh they are not laughing with us, we are the laughing stock. Although Mary J. Blige, Usher and some others tried remained classy and elegant tonight, believe there are only certain images that remain in the mental rolodex of what represents Black People. Were you suprised that Kanye West was not in attendance tonight?

Anyway, I heard Mr. Cornel West say something tonight that made the tears fall from my eyes. After seeing the display of bafoonery on the screen at the Grammys, I heard the real Mr. West say...

"We are told that to be a young black man is to be involved in Sexual Conquest, over a SISTAH- your sistah. To be obsessed with our desires, to be preoccupied with Getting Over. And therefore all the other dimensions that make up a black man, like our minds, our intellect, our hearts, our souls, our capacity to love, our capacity for compassion, are all reduced to this base denominator of Getting Over."

Marinate on that for a minute.

Do you understand how far we fell from what we once were? Do you understand that there once were many different voices and perspectives of the Black Man?

Do you understand that now, young black men EVERYWHERE are constantly fed images of one way to be. Of one way to treat each other, of one way to treat their women, of one way to live in the Capitalist society, of one way...to get over.
"Thug Life." "Rockstar Lifestyle." "Fuck Bitches, Get Money." "Get Rich or Die Tryin,"....these are all forms of Black Genocide that we constantly feed into. There are harldy any alternatives to this mentality on a large or mainstream level. Sure, you can watch TvOne, read a magazine like "Black Enterprise" or Essence, or head to the library (yeah right?), but there's always....dare I say it, that BET. They call it Black Entertainment Television when in actuality it should be called "Black-Faced Entertainment Television" or NET, short for "Nigga Entertainment Television." That channel is purely, poison to the black mind. Need I not go into detail about that either because that is an entire different post subject. But it's sad that you can count on one hand the number of shows on that channel that actually focus on empowerment of the Black community. Our poor children, our poor adults, our poor souls. But today is not the day to have a pity party. But it is indeed, for me, a day of serious refelection. Do you and I feed into these images? Do you do what your heart desires or what another person's heart desires for you?

You may think that the one change you make can't affect anything but seriously ask yourself: Are you part of the problem, or the solution?

I had a conversation with a young man just a few days ago when he explained to me that the reason he connected with Lil' Wayne and his music so much was because he talked about "Money Over Bitches," and he said he lives his life the same way. Let me remind you that this young man did not even possess a high school diploma, he has no job or source of income. I was explaining to him that Lil' Wayne is there to "Entertain" him and that he cannot live life like that for real. I mean seriously, these young dudes are not understanding: YOU ARE NOT LIL' WAYNE! Anyway, he begged to differ and told me that his lifestyle did reflect Wayne's. In addition to not having a job, his days consist of waking up, smoking weed or popping ecstasy pills (or whatever is his drug of choice for the day), calling one of his "Bitches" or two to come over, rolling up some more weed and then fuckin' with his friends on the block. He also has two young women that he has pregnant, without any care in the world for either one of them. This is a reminder of the type of mentailty we have became complacent with. I explained to him that my issue was not with him listening to Lil' Wayne, but with the limit he had put on his mind and ultimately, his consciousness level. That type of music is not the only kind you should expose yourself to. There are a variety of artists, poets, singers, actors and even dancers that can show you alternative ways of thinking. "Don't be afraid of letting your mind grow young man," were my exact words to him. But as blacks we are so lazy, we don't want the responsibility that comes with the knowledge because once you know the truth, your conscience fucks with you for not acting on it. When did we, as a people, become so afraid of mental stimulation and ultimately, soul evolution? Situations like these sadden my heart because I could see the King in him, the knowledge is in his DNA...but he can't get to it because he became engulfed by all the "distractions" the masters of the world have set there for his own self-destruction.

We can blame it on outside forces, we can "Blame it on the Alcohol" like Jamie, but what we fail to realize is that this war is not physical. The war we, BLACK PEOPLE, are fighting has not been of this material/physical world since it first started. This war has nothing to do with our physical aspects because "if you control a man's mind, you do not have to worry, his actions will follow." -Carter G. Woodson

This war is mental and spiritual. What we have to realize as a people is that if we were to take our minds, as precious as they are, and rebuild them, this is the key. When the psychological chains of mental slavery are broken, then and only then will we see progress. We can March on Washington, we can cry for the Jena 6, we can pray to the heavens, we can picket, protest, sit at lunch counters and take militant action. And although these were all tremendous efforts for the struggle, what we need to accept today is some truth, some real light. This means accepting EVERYTHING you have learned in this Western society as a lie, a BIG FAT lie and starting from scratch. Starting with very humble beginnings. Do your OWN research on the beginning of civilization, the rise of Humanity. Do your OWN research on the human body, the human mind, your PINEAL GLAND {Called the Eye of God by the Ancient Khemetians/ Egyptians}. Your OWN research on your ancestry, your evolvement, your chakras (energy centers) that truly make up your being. Erase from your mind the "Dog eat Dog" mentality that this racist, hate-filled, individualistic, Capitalist society has imposed on you. You have the choice for your mind to be free. You always have the choice, it is your mind isn't it? Ask yourself another question, Who does you mind belong to? Seriously? Is it your mind?

With all of this said, I bring it to a close here. The motivation for this post was sparked by the airing of the Grammys tonight but I added in a few other issues I wanted to address. I love to share with you my inner most secrets, my heart's desire that burns to fill pages and minds with the Divine.
The Spirit of the Most High dwells within you, did the Ultimate Creator not create you? It is on you to see what you can achieve with that energy.

Will we continue to allow big businesses to use us (black people) as their "products?"
Will we allow them to continue to market us however they want to? As an ass-shaking, over-sexed, money-throwing, money-hungry, ebonic-speaking, no education having, poppin' out babies, pants hangin' off our ass, gold fronts wearin', "Fuck bitches get money," "Niggas ain't shit" sayin', prostituting, abortion-having, laughing, joking, giggling when shit ain't funny, moaning, groaning, complaining, shiftless, tired ass negro race.....

Will we? Damn, I'm almost scared of alot of the answers I may get from my people, Black People...the Alpha and Omega, the warriors of this world, the rulers of this universe. We are fighting this fight and we are losing, will we take our God-given life back? Because somebody else controls your life...you are the puppet they pull by the strings....whether or not you know it or believe it, it's happening....right now!

But it's your choice. It's our choice. And personally, I refuse to let my race be thrown by the wayside. Go ahead and think that this shit doesn't affect you, or your children, or your children's children, or ther children. Doesn't slavery still affect your ass today? Isn't racism still alive in your hometown?...or will you have a Condolesa Rice moment and say that you never experienced it.

Whatever your issue, whoever you are, wherever you are...are you wearing that Black Face mask? Do you own your mind? Are you part of the problem or are you part of the solution?

Huh? Brother? Sister?...Can anyone hear me out there? Or do I stand all alone, fighting for all of you......

It is Black History Month today isn't it? Happy February. One Love, BlackSoulRose.

The Freedom of Individuality

2010-01-27T19:33:00.000-08:00

No one said the price of Freedom would be cheap.
Through my strength i had to learn to take faith in my leaps.
I am constantly and forever ever-changing and ever-moving.
Sometimes I feel like life is living a movie.

I once read that the conscience mind is not real, but your subconscience is what you are to be.
I now know and believe, in the Freedom of Individuality.
This word has gotten me through the toughest times of self-hate and self-guilt.
Individuals don't melt well in a mixing pot.

I make my own pot, I mix the ingredients that I deem neccessary for my growth,
My food shall heal souls, heal my own soul.
I have to learn to be vulnerable with the one who makes it all happen,
admitting the truth to yourself is the hardest to do sometimes.

I will admit, I have felt like my best just isn't good enough.
Why can't I stop worrying, why can't I get enough.
Though endless times that I was unworthy of love,
remembering now that it is the grestest creation that comes from above.
Therefore, it makes no sense and has no words to describe,
it is a feeling I feel when I glance into his eyes.
A feeling I feel when I watch the sunrise,
or a streak of humanity I see across a moonlit sky.
Gemini, air sign, out beyond the planes of realness,
This is the real real, can you feel this?

See, I have learned not to give others too much credit, my energy is surpassing the meeks of most
Negative energy needs a host
And who am I to boast, about the knowledge I have dwelling within
It was born inside of us all, with the creation of man.

Meditation, Prayer.
Meditation** Prayer**
It shall get me there.

The Freedom of Individuality...

Boy I swear.....

Historically Black Colleges and Universities: A Luxury or Necessity?

2010-01-26T13:07:00.000-08:00

And I dare to ask, are HBCU’s a Luxury or Necessity? Should they still be in existence? Are they still relevant?

Many scholars have argued that blacks have advanced and the need for these schools have either declined or are no longer needed. Things like Affirmative Action allow blacks to advance in “Corporate America,” so “they” say.

Historically black colleges were started, historically, to educate blacks who would otherwise, not be educated. Recently freed slaves were left with little options, so the founding of several black institutions of higher learning began. Although most HBCUs are in Southern States, the first Historically Black College was started in the North. Both Cheyney University (in Philadelphia-1837) and Wilberforce University (in Ohio-1856) were both started by Quakers and educated blacks. Some may argue these were actually, the first HBCUs, influenced heavily by independent religious institutions.

Another school, the Institute for Colored Youth, was started before both Cheyney and Wilberforce in the 1830s by other Philadelphia Quakers.

So in essence, Blacks once again needed a handout to be educated or re-educated, post the African Hellacaust: Slavery in the Americas. After the Civil War, HBCUs began to sprout, but not without opposition. With the Plessy vs. Ferguson Supreme Court Decision in 1896, it became law for blacks schools to be created, separate but equal however.

The Morrill-Land Grant Act of 1890 made it federal law for states using federal funds for schools/universities to either open admission to both white and black students, or to allocate money to schools specifically for blacks. With the passing of this second Morrill-Land Grant Act, sixteen black institutions received federal funding. Several black schools including Fisk University and my alma mater, first called the Hampton Normal and Agricultural Institute, graduated several free blacks, including W.E.B DuBois and Booker T. Washington. In the case of Hampton Institute, (now called Hampton University), the school was founded to focus on educating blacks to fill mostly agricultural and mechanical trades. Washington, D.C. was the place that most of these blacks became employed after graduation from Hampton. Even today, the route from Hampton, VA to Washington, D.C. is a very clear and concise one. Don’t think that this clear route is one of coincidence. It has historical data tied to its existence.

With that brief history given, I came to my own sort of conclusion about the founding of Historically Black Colleges and Universities. As stated earlier, these schools were mostly started to educate blacks that would not be educated otherwise. Otherwise meaning that whites still did not want blacks educated in their schools. It goes deeper to ask if they wanted blacks to be educated at all. But an examination of the acts and laws that had to be enacted to ensure that blacks had an equal chance at an education should give you a very accurate answer to that question. Only strong minds ponder…..
This is not to say that blacks haven’t benefited from the creations of these schools and universities. But with the obvious advancement of black people, and our schools, would it be appropriate to integrate these all-black schools at this point?

Should institutions of higher learning like Tuskegee, Spelman, Morehouse, Howard, FAMU, Central and Elizabeth City be open to students of all color, cultures and creeds?

Is there a need to sustain the legacy that so many of our African-American heroes have fought, and in some instances, died, to keep alive?

I have had several conversations with colleagues of mine about this very subject and one of the most profound answers I got on the need of HBCU’s existence was that “Yes we still need them Of course they have evolved though. But HBCUs have evolved because black people have evolved.”

With that said, are HBCUs a reflection of the educated black man and woman in America? Or are the educated black men and women of America a reflection of HBCUs?

Are blacks that decide to go to culturally mixed, or bigger, more nationally recognized universities experiencing something that blacks educated at HBCUs are not? And vice versa?
Since other universities (non-HBCUs) have certain quotas to meet (i.e.- granting admission in a certain number of “other” races besides Caucasian), do blacks now have an equal chance at education? Do blacks and other minority races have a chance to advance as readily and steadily as their European/ Caucasian counterparts?
Because all people of a racial category besides that of Caucasian or white have had, in one time of history or another, had to fight for equal opportunities with their Caucasian counterparts, do we still need these specialized type of institutions? Are the existence of HBCUs, that educate blacks, still relevant and in need today? In present time?
Surely most can agree that institutions like HBCUs are constant reminders of the struggle for equality that still exists in America today. However, we must ask ourselves several questions, in addition to the ones listed above.
Firstly, have we evolved into a society that honestly looks beyond the barriers of race for qualifications for jobs, school admission, or any other type of advancement?
Once these “educated blacks” graduate from these nationally recognized, accredited African-American institutions, are they equipped with the proper skills to compete with students who have been educated at non-HBCUs?

Is there a precious piece of culture that is missing from blacks that do not graduate from a HBCU?

Or, do HBCUs even give blacks a fair shot in a Capitalist society that constantly encourages us to strive for self, and self only. Further self-attainment being the only reward of being “successful.”
-Since HBCUs strive on providing a communal sense of living, working and playing, is this a hindrance to the black man or woman that graduates from these institutions?

Most people I have talked with on this very sensitive, but important subject speak about the culture of HBCUs. From the bass-dropping bands at football games, to the hopping and strolling Fraternities and Sororities, to the very live and meaningful Homecoming celebrations, to the sense of family one feels at black schools, the culture of these schools is an energy that defies description.

So I ask, and really NEED to know and hear from you: Are Historically Black Colleges and Universities a Luxury or a Necessity for blacks?

Consider all of the things aforementioned and let’s get into a lively discussion about this matter, a meeting of the minds. Because let’s be honest, this does AFFECT me, you, our children and their children.

As one girl from Hampton University put it, “Yes HBCUs are still relevant, but I wish they weren’t.”

Are they though?
And what do you plan to do about your opinion on their existence or not?

**Only Great Minds Ponder…..

"Without Struggle there is no progress" -Frederick Douglass

**BlackSoulRose** **E&J**

Take It In Stride...

2010-01-26T13:02:00.000-08:00

Take it in stride...is what the elders tell me

To listen to what others may have to say but still, to make my own decisions. Not that I feel that the best interest of my soul may not be in the hearts of others. But only I know the true interest of my soul.
I’ve been bold for some time now.
Although I cry, I still have the strength of Great Kings and Queens
I know you shall never forsake me.
My thoughts feel scattered at times like this and I need to repent. To myself.
I need to relent. To myself.
I have to search for the answer. Inside of myself. That is the only place I will find true serenity. Through deep meditation and re-creation of my thoughts, of self.
Why do I feel unworthy? Why do I feel doubt, anger, fear?
These are emotions that I have been conditioned to accept as a part of a life in the depths of hell, America.
I know that this is not the way to be yet daily I am fighting to not be sucked in by the masses.
Only the strong go crazy, for an Outcast I am and always will be.
Never will the others understand, I don’t even understand all of my power yet
Even I don’t understand the ramifications or limitations I set for myself as a Spiritual being.
Isn’t my Soul Evolution calling.
And my insides are brawling, and I am waiting to be touched.
I am waiting, but left waiting because I am not sure exactly what I want.
I know I am not ready for the commitment of love ties. Or the headaches of true lies.
But isn’t love supposed to be a beautiful bliss?
I have to learn to cherish, in the moment.
If I could have no worries for tomorrow, or naysays for yesterdays, maybe I would be okay?

Maybe?

That is the question of life? I am stuck trying to find balance, and that is what I need.

If I could balance between life, love, outer beauty, inner soul evolution and peaceful resolution. Then maybe, just maybe….

Would I be alright?
Maybe……..

Soldier Of Love

2010-01-26T13:01:00.000-08:00

I've been through it all when it comes to love. Call me a soldier 'cause I been fighting for a while now. I should have some stripes. Let me start by saying, this post was inspired by the beautiful, multi-talented Goddess Sade.

Understand, when I speak of being a soldier of love, I'm not just talking about relationships dealing with men that I have loved. I am talking about friends that I have loved and lost, love for my family that sometimes dissapointed me, and the ultimate love for my Creator (a two-way street). These things have ultimately made me stronger. And because of this, I cry to soul-cleanse and it leads to my Soul Evolution. I understand that most do not understand from which context I speak but I like it that way, True freedom is a high price to pay at times, the rest of the world sleeps as I fight these fights...a Revolutionary and a Soldier of Love.

To all those who have loved and lost, this is one of the most valuable lessons of life. I have loved and lost and wouldn't trade a thing. The men who have thought they left me with holes in my heart, Maat has mended them, may God be with you. To the others who shall remain nameless, you will never persevere as you live through other's dreams and not your own. I keep you nameless because energy shall take care of you...DUH! And to all of the followers of my heart, I pray that you feel me, as we engage in distant group meditations, on a global level. Love is Universal and it is the ultimate life source. Without Love, there is no life. And I swear that living life without love is not living at all. So I will and I continue to be a Soldier of Love, this war is one that has no beginning or end, nor any winners or losers...fate takes care of what it shall be.

And now I ask, who are the other Soldiers ready to fight with me. Soldier of Love....and I take no prisoners!
**BlackSoulRose**

I am...Choosing to Love Something New Every Day

2010-01-26T12:57:00.001-08:00

Am I whatever you say I am? Maybe..... SIKE! If I was to be what you said I am then I would be crazy. So I had a blast with the bestie last night and I was sooo happy we decided to get up. I'm kinda still recovering and debating whether or not to fuck with "Him" tonite. Some one on one time would be good though. And since he's a working man and I am still a "Starving Artist," I think I will take all of that into consideration.

Today was spiritual for a number of reasons though. I can't even begin to describe the dreams, the visions, the epiphanies and the energy of the Most High. I did a group meditation today and a solo one. I'm gonna be on my meditation tip everyday now because I know I need to get back on it like I was over the summer. Last summer was such a blessing for so many reasons, I learned so much about life and love in general. What is life without love? I pose the question again because everyday I try to find a new way to seek the answer. If I can make a pact to love something new every day, then I would be what I need to be. And believe me, the Creator has enough creations for me to choose a new thing to love everyday. And the Creator loves me, Beautifully. I'm signing off here and I would love to continue tomorrow. I have been on it good this week and I will continue. Someone tell me how to add cool features to this thing??? LOL...**E&J**

What is Life...Without Love?

2010-01-26T12:55:00.000-08:00

So, today my best friend and I are going to a small High School reunion. Well its actually tonight. No hear back from jobs but fuck that for the weekend. Im about to send my resume off to like 2 or 3 people and then I'm done for the day. I'm so fuckin tired!!! I slept until about 3pm today but thats cuz I was up until like 7am, watching Jurassic Park, writing poetry, working on this blog and enjoying the hour of the Most High. Actually, I feel refreshed for centering myself for a while. If I could get paid to put my artistic and creative abilities to the test everyday I know I would be a millionaire. I can do Anything, I promise. If you put me somewhere, tell me to write about it, sing about, talk about it, do without it....I'm good! Tehehehe. Anyway, Miami did look promising but I don't know anymore. I'm not comfortable with asking my mother for another a thousand dollars to go on a trip when I don't even really have a job yet. Even if I get a job, would it be appropraite to immediately take off time for a personal trip. Serious Judgement Call. Anyway, I did quit the other job I had for a day because alot of these jobs are seriously, stupid. Not that I'm picky but I am a college graduate and I do need some more type of stability. I hope the best to everyone today. I feel like today is going to be a good night that's why I may not even concern myself with the ignorance of the world. HaHa...how crazy right? You can't escape it, but you choose whether or not you respond to it. I am finally realizing how wonderful I am. I think I slept on myself for so long, unable to really hatch into the creative, artistic, articulate and passionate young, BLACK woman that I am. I was born with the skills though and now I need my confodence through the roof. Keep me on this wavellength...it's the only one I need. It's Friday I'm happy and Love is indeed, Life. Read my first post and you will see that I said that. I repeat it alot and I will again: Love is Life. What is life without love? Not just the head over heel type in a relationship...love of your family....love of the trees....the flowers...love of the planet you walk on and should live in sync with....love of the birds that sing every morning to wake us up....love of the Tropical Rainforests that most of us are far too scared to ever go into....love of the entire world and cosmic energy that dewlls within us and all around us. Love. Pure. and Simple. **BlackSoulRose**

Soul Evolution

2010-01-26T12:54:00.000-08:00

Gimme my

Soul Back
Sold crack, at first
But now it hurts
I can feel the wounds of a thousand men
I feel rejected yet pregnant within
Pregnant with possibility, in the words of Assata
Sisters like that, brothers like this
Make me meditate on my chakras
Put it in a rhyme
Watch me from behind
Watch it, so sublime
Call me anytime
My Soul Evolution was caused by an intrusion
Forced me to come to my own conclusions
And then contusions, why shall I ever be afraid
I, like the seasons, feel the cold, warmth and the rain
But you never loved me, will you ever love me?
Inner battle I have on my own
Inner battle of who’s who and what’s what
Inner battle…
Can I find my Soul a home….
Can you put me on my throne…
Felt that pain at the Super Dome
City Adrift and Earthquakes from beneath
And while you cry, I sleep
Masked in a blanket of security
Far from my destiny of purity
Purely speaking,
Find my soul a home
So Soul Evolution may be the solution
Kids, drinks, loud nights and prostitution
You think we represented in the Constitution
3/5ths of a man, we need a Resolution

My people are…depressed
Tried to keep it about me but nevertheless,
Because my hand hangs heavy with the stress
But never will we settle for less
Soul Evolution…
Hold on to my wings as we fly
These positions in outer space are made for you and I
Give me a five, I lock hands with your shoulders
As we dodge bullet holes, time bombs and boulders

But who’s bolder?

Will you still walk with me
My soul Evolution conquest
My other little voices, and me

You...

2010-01-26T12:51:00.000-08:00

Can words express?

No detest that you’re the best
Even if you didn’t touch me physically
Your soul spoke volumes to me
I can swim in an imaginary ocean of our ecstasy
But when I see the water around me…
I know it’s not that imaginary mmmm….
A dark light, a bright essence
A moment of tenderness,
Some pieces of heaven
We brought to that room
Swept me like a broom
Onto a higher plane and I….
Won’t Land
Don’t expect your mans to understand
But you took me in your hand
Gotta love that Black Man
GOTDAMN!!!

I can’t even feel my heart beat without you crossing through it
Cross my heart and hope to die,
Forever I need you and I
So manly when you talk to me
Baritone reaches exceedingly…
High, oh Hi…how are you, this is my friend
Oh, bye….now are you ready to ride…to the end
But can you swim
You took me deep and far within
It was all in the cosmos
From the every beginning
You are my Soul Mate
Evolved into what a man is supposed to make
And my spirit shakes with your energy
Yet you make me breath easy

Relax, let the night flow and days follow
Relax, never will your heart be hollow
Relax, I’m yours and we both know it
You’re relaxed ‘cause I was trippin’,
I know what I want from it
Relax, let’s do what’s on our mind
Relax, baby….we have all the time

Can it be put into words?
Can words express?
Can you give me what I yearn for next?
Not just sex, but a whole lotta lovin’
Damn, I just won’t wait for the day,
I make you my husband

{Thought you was my cuzin but you wasn’t) ahahahaha

Elevate (for the Luvas....)

2010-01-26T12:47:00.000-08:00

If I could read your soul
As your kisses whisper life into my spine
As your gentle look controls me
And brings meaning to my mind
And holds long convos about the so-so’s,
The twirling of my hair slow grows, like the rotating of my mind at this time
What you leave behind
Is one such, that is so fine
An impression of a divine, a define…
That you do so well
So…
Swell
Whenever you need or may have a sense of it, you should

You could…reminisce
About the mountains and valley lays
Oceans of alley ways we float in
As we
Look to the soul of each other, that I read, I could read
Because I see
What you feel you have mastered around me, we shall see
As I read the pain you endured when you claimed me
And the heartbeat you completed when you found me
This image has become my own…permanently
Of the joy noises I see when I close my eyes
The level you life from me
As I deep so securely
Into a lovelace of untraceable aura
Before me, I have you
Like a transgression of a paintbrush on the eyelids canvas
Like a whirlwind of our worlds that glide
Inside, that speaks through our time
Oh baby, our time
All the rose petals of those left behind
Will fall piece by piece
I still could not release
Not even a crease
Of the completeness
Of the uniqueness
Duo we create…
(Baby You make me)…ELEVATE!

Have You Ever Tried Sleeping With a Broken Heart?

2010-01-26T12:41:00.000-08:00

Alicia Keys is playing in my head over and over. Why oh Why? I ask. Anyway, I love the fact that I am so resilient. I may stress for a minute and then it's like "Fuck it!" Times come and go, so do people and so do feelings {sometimes}. I recently received great news, but I don't know what it is yet. I feel a poem coming on soon so I'm about to post that...Make sure u tune in to Twitter {BlackSoulRose}. I will be on here updating more often too, I have definitley been loafing. Either way...make me proud I say to myself and I am never upset. Who can upset yourself more than yourself? I will never let anyone have control over my emotions (outside of my family) unless they are affecting me in a good way. And HE does. EVen if I try to block him out, I have learned how to let my mind and body flow with the thoughts of Him. He deserves it though, and I will give it to him! Either way, life is a never ending chapter book and I added about three chapters just in the last week. I guess you healed my Broken Heart...My blog gives me sanity. Your thoughts give me peace, the Most High gives me serenity and Doves give me compassion. Can you hear me? I feel it and I want you to as well...But you must listen, with your soul....Soul-Evolution (that's the name of the game :)

Our Morning

2010-01-26T12:36:00.001-08:00

Do You believe you can fly?
I believe we can touch the sky...
But could you see yourself in between my thighs
Your tongue flickers as my nipples rise
Told me to run, but you cant hide
That desire burning on the inside
I would love to go for your little ride
I Invite you to come inside
To a Sacred being, a Sacred place
Filled with my warm elegance, your deepest grace
And I plan for my heart to race
As our bodies share, we make no mistakes

I am,
on a Plateau with you
Thinking of one thing, or maybe a few
Maybe all the things in the stratosphere of being
I wake up with the sunrise
To your chest I am leaning
**Our Morning**

Bounce Wit' Me

2010-01-26T12:35:00.000-08:00

Bouncing wit Positive Energy

Okay so today my mood is a little higher. I prayed and I have two upcoming interviews...God is real and oh, so good to me. On the note of positive vibes, I've been getting them all today. I am so glad I ventured off by myself to do things I needed to. Seeing old friends (more like family) was a Great experience...and I love babies. I love puppies and babies, little people in general (not that dogs are babies but...you get me!) So yeah, I am saving up for Miami, Spring Break 2010, it is what it is, and it will be what I make it...Miami here i come..AGAIN! If you don't know then ask. Enough with the play, hard work has to get me where I am going now, can I stay inspired? I know I will. This one is short and sweet..blessings from the Most High fill my heart, then my page...oh, and by the way....Chrisette Michelle took me to another level last night with her music..thanks babes. And thank you babes to my special sweet treat, next time I'm gonna tast your lips sweet Cheeks..ummmmm...my GuiltyPleasure I ain't goin' nowhere....

OneLuv,

until next time, Peace and Blessings

2010

2010-01-26T12:19:00.000-08:00

A New Year means a new trance...a new stance I am taking at life. I wonder why things happen, then I don't really wonder anymore. I know people may call my thoughts far out there, but they are not for the meeks of men. How lonely and cold it can be sometimes. I want to put my life on the lines, the ones {they} read from. I think it would be worth reading? Wouldn't you??

Maybe not because you don't know my struggle. Not economics, like we always say, spiritual struggle. It's here, and it's fighting me to be all I can be...to the best of my ability. DO you think I'm scared?? Hell nah, I can't be. Time can't afford that. I am, who I say I am...If I wasn't, then why would I Say I am...Revolutionary Spiritual Goddess...The original Afrikan Woman...can I get a AMEN!

So I'm moving over...

2010-01-26T12:04:00.000-08:00

Thank you if you are reading this, for I had to change locations. I was at another blog site but it wasn't working out right. I had to part ways with them (smile). Nevertheless, after this first post, you will find every other post from my other blog and it will be like we never missed a beat! Let me take this time to introduce myself. I am a starving artist with a positive and creative outlook on life. Nothing intigues me more than a new situation to analyze and express through my artistic abilities. I know that I live life very different from most people. For routine is never the way of life for me (if I can help it) and I try to change it up for new exploration everyday. My greatest challenge now is to test my creative abilities everyday and push myself a little harder than the day before. I rely on my dreams, meditation and prayer messages to guide me through this transformation.

So, this blog will truly be a key, into my inner world. I open it to you and thank you in advance for any feedback, it's ALL appreciated. Poems, thoughts, stories (about life) and non-fiction is what you will find here. The TRUTH is something that I will never again, fear.

**BlackSoulRose** **E&J**